


Oblivion

by kopfkino



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Attraction, Car Accidents, Established Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Surprise Party, how do i tag this without spoiling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kopfkino/pseuds/kopfkino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas Müller and Miroslav Klose have it all; a successful career, a beautiful relationship and a happy life. </p><p>Can something as an accident take everything away from them? Twists and turns of fate will challenge their relationship to the edge. Can they make it out together?</p><p>In which Miro has a car accident and forgets a big part of his life. Big enough to forget Thomas, how will they ever manage?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Open Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThunderFrost2012](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderFrost2012/gifts).



> _All this feels strange and untrue_  
>  _And I won't waste a minute without you_  
>  _My bones ache, my skin feels cold_  
>  _And I'm getting so tired and so old_
> 
> _Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes._
> 
>  

Thomas runs through the cones. Jumps when he's supposed to, shoots and scores when he's asked. Typical Bavarian training. Bundesliga's winter break was almost over and they had spent a lovely time at Qatar. 

But now they had to focus. They were playing Wolfsburg in a couple of weeks and they needed to have their head in the league. Pep was aiming at the tremble again. He couldn't blame him. He always pushed the team to do better. 

He joins Robert, who's sitting alone resting. He's quite fond of the Pole, even if his nationality reminds him of Miro. But what doesn't? If it's not Robert it's the Italian food poster he sees on his way home, or the world cup flyers, or simply daydreaming at all times of day. Miroslav can't escape his mind. He's so lucky to be with Miro. The best part is that they manage to keep their relationship healthy, beating the distance between them. He turns to his friend. 

"So, have you heard the latest? I got tweets calling you Satan." He starts, clearly amused. Bayern fans have no limits when it comes to their imagination. 

Robert gives him an unimpressed look before getting up and joining the team again. Thomas tries to say something else but he's already gone. 

"Pff, maybe you are really Satan." Thomas pouts before a small boy trips in front of him. He quickly gets up to help the young man. 

"Oh hey, Gianluca! What's up?" 

The boy, aged 16, is very shy. Even Thomas hadn't managed to get the small man to talk comfortably with him, which was quite unusual for someone like Thomas. 

"I need to talk to Pep." He hurries past Thomas, almost falling again. 

"What's with everyone today?" He sighs before walking to his bag. He knows Miro will have texted him by now. He's right. Thomas opens the last message with a smile. 

_I miss you too Thomas, I'm excited for the next time we can see each other again. I love you."_

 

He rushes into the dinning room. If there was something else beside Miro he loved, it was the food here. Well, food was always relevant for him, but he enjoyed foreign food as well. He makes a mental note to ask Miro for Italian food again next time he visits. He sits down next to his dear friend Bastian. 

To his surprise, the blond's eyes widen at the sight of Thomas, it's an usual look on his face, it shows shock and surprise.

"Geez calm down, what's up?" He teases his friend who simply gives him a weak smile.

Thomas turns to find Manu giving him a sad look. Philipp is right next to him. The captain gets up and gives him a pat on his shoulder. 

What's going on?

"I'm sorry Thomas." He tells him, before walking away. 

Thomas immediately turns to Basti, who looks away.

"Manu?" He asks the keeper who prefers to take a bite of his food rather than face Thomas. 

"What's he talking about?" He asks confused, rather in a cold tone, but before any of the pair can reply, Pep shows up and calls his name.

"Thomas, in here, _now_." 

 

"What's going on?" He asks as soon as they walk outside, and Pep gives him a sorry look.

Pep Guardiola does not give sorry looks.

They walk a few meters, where no one else could listen.

Pep's voice is softer than usual, which just scares Thomas more. 

"It's Miroslav." 

No. No way. He feared it would be about him. There's no way something is wrong with his Miro. Thomas' hands traveled to his head into his messy hair. 

"He... was in a car accident. Some drunk driver.. He was in surgery, he's out now. He's not conscious."

Thomas stares at Pep with a blank expression on his face for a good minute. A wave of guilt surrounded him. How is he only finding out about this now? Miro was in surgery and all he was thinking about is food. And he's so far away, so far away from Miro. He's the worst boyfriend in the entire world. A voice brings him back.

"Thomas." 

The boy focuses on his coach.

"Did you hear me?" 

"Huh?"

"I said you're off training for the time being and free to go to Rome. He should be with his loved ones. Especially you." 

 

 

Thomas watches Miro in bed. His eyes closed and his perfect silhouette. It's easy to forget what he's been through, and just imagine he's sleeping, like so many times before over the years. He somehow does look peaceful, however. Maybe he's dreaming about something nice. His hands travel to his cheeks, leans a soft kiss on them, even if Miro probably can't feel them. 

Sometimes he holds his hand. Thomas takes it slowly and puts it on his own chest. Maybe his warmth will wake him up. He needs Miro to be alright, he doesn't know what would happen to him if Miro wasn't by his side. Sure they had fought before, but it was mostly because of Thomas' temper and it never lasted more than a few hours, when Thomas would apologize and Miro would gladly accept it. 

He's been in a coma for a couple of days, and Thomas can barely take it anymore. He talks to him, tells him what's new with Bayern and more essentials. He's received calls about going home but he's not listening, he wants to be here when Miro wakes up. He will wake up, Thomas is sure of it. 

He doesn't allow himself to lose faith. 

"I need you Miro, don't leave me."

 

Thomas' eyes open slowly, he's fallen asleep on the edge of Miro's bed. It's the fourth day he's been there, and there's still no update on Miro. He feels his heart break more each passing moment. He tries thinking about something else. Anything else, like the fact he thinks he hear a grumbling. And it's not his own.

He gets up as soon as he can and turns to Miro face who's trying to move. 

"Nurse!" He lets himself scream, alerting the doctors. They rush in.

Miro opens an eye and groans again softly. Thomas feels his eyes get watery. A smile finds its way to his face. He missed the blue in his eyes so much, all he wants to do is hold him and gaze into them.  

They examine him, he seems all right. His vital signs are in order. Thomas sighs in relief. What a beautiful day. When the doctor gives him a nod in approval, he moves closer to his boyfriend. 

"Opa! Look who's here to surprise you!" His voice is shaking, he's nervous and at the same time euphoric. 

The brown haired man looks up, with a confused look on his face. Okay, maybe he's tired. 

"You were in a car accident, you went into a coma for a few days, but seems like you're stable now." The doctor continues. 

Miro nods slowly.

"I understand." His voice is so weak.

Thomas wants to hug him even more now to get rid of the pain. But he knows he'd just make it worse. 

The pole turns to Thomas with a blank look on his face. There's something about it that throws him off. Isn't he surprised to find Thomas there?

"We'll leave you two alone." The doctor smiles.

"Can I call at least a friend?" Miro asks innocently. 

The doctor turns to Thomas. 

"What?" The younger lets out automatically. "Miro, it's me, Thomas!" 

Miro turns to him. "Huh?"

"Don't you know who I Am?!" He repeats, rather desperate. 

Miro blinks. "Am I supposed to know you?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Losing your memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reactions to Miro's memory loss from his friends.

"Fips, give it to me, I can take it. What year is it?" 

Philipp turns from the window to his old friend who's sitting up on the bed he's been lying down for days now. His closest friends had also been notified and traveled to Rome as soon as possible. Philipp, Manuel, Bastian, Mario and even Robert were all in the hospital a few days after he had woken up. 

"You look old as shit." He continues, with a smile on his lips. He opens the jello the hospital has brought him and starts eating it. Fips can't even guess what his last memory must be if he finds him really changed. 

"It's 2015." The captain finally says.

There's a small silence while Miroslav processes the information. His amused expression slowly fades. "I remember it being 2008." He sadly answers. "I just.. lost 7 years of my life." 

"Maybe your memory will come back, Miro."

"It's January? That would make me 36 years old? Seriously? I'm not 36! I'm 29!" He continues. 

Fips can't really say anything, he can't possibly imagine being in his place. If he forgot 7 years ago he wouldn't even remember Manu, the thought of forgetting someone so important to him is already upsetting enough. 

"Am I retired?" He has a sad look on his face and Philipp can't look him in the eye. The fact than this is more of a thought for Miro is hard. 

"Only from the national team, but so am I, and Per, and .. "

"What? You must be like 30 at the most? What made you leave? And from Bayern? Are we still playing there?" 

"You left Bayern in 2011, to join Lazio, the Italian team. But you're still there." 

Miro turns to the window. "Explains the Italian I seem to have forgotten and why we're at Rome?" He covers his face in the pillow with a groan. "I want to remember everything." 

"Cheer up, I'm sure it'll all come back to you." 

"Will you help me remember everything?" He asks. 

"Of course, old friend." 

"One more thing, and don't call me that, before we go through everything that happened in 7 years." 

"Sure." 

"Who's the boy who was here when I woke up? He seemed rather upset when I didn't remember him."

Philipp is surprised. Of course, Thomas only debuted in 2008, considering that, Miro probably doesn't even remember him. He's not sure he should be the one telling Miro about their relationship.

"You mean Thomas." He agrees.

"Yeah, the young one, with the really messed up hair." 

Philipp hesitates. "He's a really good friend of yours. You two really got along."

Miro looks at him and nods. Philipp continues. 

"You should talk to him though, I think he'd like that." 

 

" _HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ME "_ Thomas repeats, for what seemed the billionth time today. 

Manu nods slowly again trying to comfort his friend. 

"How did this even happen Manu? You should have seen the look in his eyes. It's like I never existed. He forgot about me! About us! About everything!" At this point he's practically shouting. The people in the waiting room were already glaring at them.

"Thomas, I know it must be hard, but try to under-" 

"How would you feel if Philipp forgot everything about who you aRE, WOULD YOU BE OKAY?"

Thomas feels a hand on his shoulder and turns to Benedikt. 

"Hey calm down buddy."

"Huh? Oh, hi Benni." 

"We came as soon as we heard. How's he doing?" 

"He's suffered memory loss." Manuel quickly explains cutting Thomas off before he can outburst again. 

"That's terrible." He apologizes. "Does he even remember we won the world cup?" 

Thomas feels a hole in his stomach. He's been so self-centered concerned about Miro remembering him he's forgotten everything else Miro has accomplished. It was his dream to lift that cup, and those memories are now stolen from him. All he wants is Miro to remember his life. He doesn't remember losing to Italy in 2012, or breaking Ronaldo's record against Brazil, he doesn't remember moving to Lazio, becoming a important figure for their team. His throat feels heavy, and if he didn't know better he could tell he's about to burst into tears. 

Thankfully Mats arrives behind with Marco. Bringing him back from his thoughts. 

"We're sorry." Mats starts. 

Marco seems to be looking around. 

"He's with Schweinsteiger." Thomas tells him before he can even ask. 

"What about Miro? He's been an amazing friend to us all." 

"He's with Philipp right now." Manu replies.

"He's suffered memory loss." Benni fills the pair in, and it's Mats who pops the question.

"Does he remember us?" 

"He seems to remember Fips and Basti. He didn't remember Mario or.."

"Me." Thomas looks away with a sad look on his face. He's partly jealous of Philipp and Basti, even if it's not their fault, or even Miro's.

Mats and Benni share a surprised look on their faces. It's not long until Bastian comes back with Mario bringing a box full of chocolate.

"Mario's idea." He shrugs. 

"When's Lukas coming?" Marco asks, rather lighthearted. 

"He's arriving first hour tomorrow with Mesut." The blond replies. 

Mario and Marco have already found their way together. "We've all given it thought and think you should be the one to give Miro the chocolates." Mario turns to Thomas. 

Thomas looks at his friends who almost all nod in agreement, expect Mats, who's a little bit lost, but also agrees after receiving a nudge from Benni.

 

Thomas knocks on the door. He's terribly nervous. What if he can never get Miro to remember him, or worse, to never like him again?

"Come in!" Miro's voice can be heard from the inside and he opens it slowly.

He finds Fips on the small couch.

"We won the fucking world cup and I can't remember." Miro sighs looking up to the ceiling. "At least we have pictures right?"

 Philipp nods and turns to Thomas. 

"We.. We brought you some chocolates. You know, from the team." His voice is shaking. 

"That's so nice of you all, thank you." Miro gives him a warm smile. He could melt in that smile. 

Fips gets up. "I'll give you two a moment." He gives Thomas a wink before closing the door. 

Thomas can feel his hands sweating and shaking. He doesn't remember a time where he felt this awkward before.

"So, Thomas is it?" 

He turns to Miro in shock. Did he remember his name?

"Philipp told me.."

Of course he didn't. Why would he even remember. He clearly only seemed to remember people he really cared about. He can't hide the hurt of being forgotten. Miro must have noticed his expression at his words because he continues. 

"I don't really remember anything since 2008.. I'm sorry about that... I think we used to be good friends?"

Friends?  _Friends?_ There's a grip on Thomas' heart as he hears that word. Is he freaking being friendzoned? But Miro can't possibly know that, so he hides it the best he can.

"We.. We really were close." He agrees. 

"I was thinking you wouldn't mind helping me remember me a bit then?" 

Thomas looks at Miro, there's the beautiful expression of concern he's used to. It's still his Miro. For the first time since he got the news of his accident, he smiles in an honest way.

"Of course, first of all, Bayern's the best club of all." 

"Am I a bad person if I agree? Considering I'm no longer a player there?" 

"No you're not! You're the best person I know Miro! You're always so noble and humble! You're my inspiration." 

 Miro looks at Thomas with an intrigued look on his face. There's something about the young boy he can't put his finger on. Thomas blushes.

"What?" 

"Nothing." Miro looks away. "I'm just flattered, thank you. Do you have pictures of the world cup?" He wonders.

"Which one, 2010 or 2014?" He nervously asks. 

"2014, I'd like to see when we won." He calmly adds. 

 

"Lukas! You're early!" 

Bastian puts his arms around his boyfriend. "I know! They offered us the private jet, so here we are!" Mesut walks behind him. Everyone greets the pair and ask Mesut about the flight while Bastian gives Lukas a nice soft kiss.

"How is he?" Lukas asks him.

Bastian drags him to another room so no one but him can hear him.

"He's lost a large portion of his memory. It's pretty bad. Fips tells me he can't remember since 2008. He doesn't remember Thomas, Mario, Benni, Mats... He probably does remember you though. Fips, you and I were there since 2006. He's with Thomas right now, he's filling him in but still no trace of remembering." 

"Oh boy. Can we say hi?" 

"Sure." 

The pair walk to Miro's room and open it without warning. Thomas is showing something on his phone and Miro seems impressed by the technology.

"It's a smartwhat?"

"Smartphone!" Thomas giggles.

Miroslav looks up and his face lights up at a familiar face. He completely forgets about the phone.

"Lukas!" 

"Miro!"

The pole walks to Miro's spot and hugs him.

"I'm so glad to see you!" Miro bursts, and Thomas can't help but feel the wave of jealousy coming back at him.

"I was just showing Miro some pictures from the world cup!" He adds, to earn Basti's smile. 

"Did you tell Miro about your 10 world cup goals?" He teases.

Miro turns to Thomas. "You've scored the same amount I have!" 

"No, you're far greater, you scored 6 more goals in the two world cups you can't remember." 

Lukas continues. "Making you all time goal scorer. Above Ronaldo's record."

Miro can't hide his surprise. Him? A world record? He's speechless.

"We'll have to show you all your goals, especially the last one. Thomas made a brilliant assist." Basti winks. 

Thomas is already blushing when Miro turns to him. 

"Thank you." He admits, with a smile. 

"I'll get you more tea" Thomas needs a way to run from the embarrassment. He gets up and takes Miro's empty plates. Opening the door, he can hear Lukas' voice. 

"So, how's it going? Waking up to being world champion, record breaker with a whole new team.. new friends and boyfriend must be hard."

Thomas stops at the last word. He doesn't have to turn around to catch Miro's expression.

"Boyfriend?" 

Bastian realises what he's done and tries to stop Lukas, but it's too late. 

"He didn't tell you yet? I thought it would have been the first thing he'd done before showing you those pictures!"

Miro's blank expression makes the bricks fall on Lukas about what he's done. Oh god. He turns to Bastian who has both his hands in his face.

"You mean Thomas?" 

If Lukas Podoslki is anything in the world, he's definitely not a good liar. But Miro knows his friend far too well, after all, being the only two part polish on the team, gives you an entire new level of friendship.

"I thought you knew." He manages to mumble. 

"The boy? But he's like 20! What kind of person am I? I can't be possibly dating _him_." 

The three stop to the a door being slammed. It's followed by the sound whole set of plates falling and Basti rolls his eyes softly, "I'll be right back." He excuses himself.


	3. Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miroslav finds out he and Thomas were more than just close friends, how will he react? :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waaa I wasn't expecting so much feedback on this ^^  
> thank you so much <33

Thomas remembers the first time he and Miro kissed. It was almost the end of fall after the South African world cup. Thomas had always had a crush on Miro, even if it had started as admiration, it had shifted to a very serious thing for him. It wasn't only the amazing football player that he was, it was also the beautiful person he found in Miro. He was always so kind and sweet. Thomas fell in love with that over the two years they had spent together.

Miro often took time off to help him train, and offered his assistance after practice to learn the ways to shoot better. Thomas knew perfectly how to score, but he loved getting advice from Miro. 

But something was different this time.

Ever since the world cup, he'd noticed something. As close as he and Miro had gotten at Bayern, there was more in the little things they did.

While he was used to gaze at Miro and he'd look away, he found Miro looking back at him. Worse yet, he blushed. When Thomas hugged Miro after a goal, he hugged back a little big longer than necessary yet not too much to raise suspicion. 

When Jogi called Thomas the baby of the team, Miro had spoken up telling them he was far more mature for his age than he showed when it came to football. Thomas wished he had meant being more mature about relationships too. He knew what he wanted in a relationship and more importantly: he was sure who he wanted it with.

Thomas had a hunch, he tried testing Miroslav as much as he could. When Mats gave Benni a sexy innuendo, he'd turn to his elder and wink. Miro would either raise an eyebrow or look away with a small smile. Or both. 

Even when they lost, Miro was there to console him. He hadn't even been able to play, because of a stupid handball. He felt helpless when Puyol scored Spain's winning goal and the fact it was the first time he'd properly lost at a world cup: A dark hole inside him was eating him alive. Miro sat next to him and put his arm around him, pulled him close and told him everything was going to be alright, he told him that he'd have another chance.

"We'll have another chance, you mean." Thomas corrected him. 

"We'll see Thomas, I'm not as young as you, remember? Who knows how this old cadaver will hold up." The elder weakly smiled. 

Thomas clanged closer to Miro until he absolutely had to let go. 

Now they were back at Munich, training. Thomas had asked Miro for another shooting lesson, which seemed rather ridiculous after scoring five goals at the world cup. He didn't care though, he loved spending time with him. At one point, Miro sat down laughing from a stupid joke Thomas said. 

He could listen to Miro laugh all day long, Thomas thought.

"Winter break is coming soon." Thomas made him notice.

Miro looked at him recovering from the laughter and nodded. "Christmas means delicious food though." 

Thomas' eyes lit up: Food was always welcomed in his stomach, and Miro seemed to notice, giving in to a small laugh again. 

"Help me up." He told Thomas. 

The boy found Miro's hands and pulled softly. To his surprise, strength came from the other end. Miro was pulling him down with him. Thomas found his face almost hitting the ground to hear Miro's laugh again. He turned back to him, ready to whine, but simply couldn't interrupt Miro's laughter. 

"I can't believe you fell for that!"

Thomas smiled and rolled slightly his eyes. He sat up next to his friend. He noticed Miro's lips had a pale blue tint. 

"Are you cold?" Thomas realised.

"Just a bit." He shrugged.

Without even giving it a second thought, he wrapped his arms around him. His body was actually at a scary iced temperature.

"Thomas, I'm just a bit cool, not frozen." Miro made him notice.

Okay maybe he wasn't about to die of hypothermia, but he couldn't help being worried.

"I just ... worry." Thomas replied.

Miro's smile faded and Thomas felt his cheeks blush. Their faces were inches apart and since Thomas had his arms around Miro, he couldn't hide the fact his heart was beating at speed of light. Was it his imagination or was Miro getting every time closer? No, it couldn't be. His eyes were now on Miro's, who seemed to be lost in his own. 

"Miro.." Thomas whispered, not exactly meaning for him to hear. The elder was making it almost impossible for Thomas to resist him, losing every last bit of self control that was in him. To his disappointment, Miro pulled a bit away up to the sky. 

"Hm? It's snowing?" He made him notice. A snowflake fell on Thomas' nose to confirm his sentence. He automatically pulled his arms away from Miro, who stood up.

"We should go, wouldn't want you catching a cold for the next game." Miro teased as he turned around. Thomas noticed his cheeks were softly pink, and he knew it wasn't the weather. 

He couldn't let him go away, they had been so close. There was something about the way they had spent that moment that made Thomas snap. He got up and ran all the way to reach Miro. It was now or never. 

He pulled his arm making him stop. 

"Thomas?" The blue eyes were looking back at him and Thomas acted on instinct. He grabbed his cheeks and pulled them close to his for their lips to meet. They were as soft an Thomas had imagined all these years. At first, Miro didn't kiss back, he was completely taken by surprise, which made Thomas wonder if he had done the right thing. But when Miro cupped back his own hands in his hair and neck, everything was clear.  

 

"Thomas."

Bastian stares at the boy on his knees, desperately trying to pick up the plates he dropped. 

"Thomas!" He tries again.

"I.. I need to.. to go get tea." He mumbles. 

"Thomas"

He notices the fact Bastian is on his knees next to him.

"I've lost him." He tries to speak. 

Bastian turns his head to the sides in disagreement. 

"He's just shocked Thomas." 

Thomas puts his face between his hands. He can't help it anymore, the tears come strolling down his face. 

"I've been with him for so long I can barely remember how it was before. He doesn't remember me." 

He receives a pats from his friend. 

"It's okay, you'll figure it out together."

Thomas looks up. Bastian has a warm smile that gives him strength. He sniffs the tears away. 

"I have to make Miro fall in love with me again." He speaks up.

"You did it once, didn't you? Well he can be attracted to you again, you're still the same guy you were 5 years ago, and Miro's mentally the age he was when he first met you, so it can totally happen again?"

Thomas knows Basti is right, and he's glad. He shouldn't be feeling sorry for himself. This is a new chance to fall in love all over again. Even if it's going to be all new for Miroslav, Thomas would fall for him all the times he needs. 

 

Mats pokes Benni's stomach for the eleventh time. They're sitting next to each other at a table in the cafeteria.

"I'm bored." They've been waiting for Miro to come out for hours now, and all he's been eating is lame sick people food. 

Benni turns to him. "We can't push Miro, he's probably forgotten us too."

"You'd never forget me would you?" Mats asks.

"Of course I wouldn't." He gives a small smile, before Mats can reply, his eyes lit up. "I have an idea! How about we plan a surprise party for Miro?! We can bring all the national team, and his old team mates, people he remembers for sure! We can bake cake, and print pictures and hang them on their wall."

Mats grumbles. "Sounds like a lot of work.."

He's cut off by Mario who sits in front of them on the table. "That's a brilliant idea! Sign us up!" 

Marco walks behind him and brightly agrees. 

"It's all set then, we'll call Sylwia and you guys go call everyone while I'll tell Philipp and Manuel to print the pictures!"

Mats sighs as Benedikt grabs his hand and drags him from his food, at least there will be cake, right?

 

"Mario.. Götze?"

Lukas repeats the goal scene. There's an image of everyone running to hug him followed by the players on the bench. He spots himself there. 

That Miroslav looks so happy, he's got tears in his eyes. Miro can't help but sigh. He's happy they won, of course, but he wishes he could remember the feeling. A feeling he's longed for his entire life. It feels like someone stole bits of his life. 

"I want to walk for a bit." He tells Lukas. He's glad him, Philipp and Bastian are there for him. He'd be lost with these new strangers. His mind wanders to the boy. Thomas. He can't lie and say he doesn't find him attractive. He's of course an attractive young man. But that's exactly the point, he's young. Miro is now 36? What on earth was he thinking?

"Want me to join you?"

 "No, that's alright."

 

Considering they've been together for 7 years, it would mean Thomas was even younger, oh god. He hopes his old self kept it legal. 

He's walking down the hospital hallway, Italian signs everywhere, which reminds him he's no longer at Bayern. Why would he leave? It's one of the best clubs there are.

"Is anything like before?" He whispers as puts his face on the window. He notices it's almost time for sunset, there's snow outside everywhere. He's got a cozy view from here. 

He sits down on a bench and looks at the horizon, his head is still feeling kind of dizzy, he could blame the accident, but it's much more to that. He wants his memories back. 

"Miro?" 

He turns back to find Bastian and of course, Thomas. 

"I- I just got tired of my room." 

Bastian excuses himself to find Lukas leaving the pair alone. 

Thomas isn't sure how to act, but he's relieved Miro seems to feel the same way. 

He sits down awkwardly next to Miro who's look has turned again to the window. 

"So... we're together?" Miro finally speaks up.

Thomas nods slowly. 

"I hope this doesn't sound wrong, but how old are you?" Miro turns with a look of concern, which almost amuses Thomas.

"I'm 25. Mentally we're not that far." 

Miro nods a bit surprised and Thomas mentally curses himself for bringing it up. 

"Sorry, I just meant, I mean, you should know, age has never been an issue for us."

There's something about the boy that intrigues him. He seems so honest.

"It's just overwhelming, you know. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm having trouble.. imagining us." Miro sighs. 

"I was 20 when it happened, so no worries." Miro gives in to a small smile. 

An idea pops up in Thomas' head. He quickly takes out his phone. 

"I have pictures of us!" 

Before Miro can even reply he's already gotten to the special folder where he keeps his pictures with Miro. It's called "Times with my baby." 

"This one is when we advanced to the world cup quarter finals," He starts. There's a selfie of Thomas and Miro on his phone, both of them shirtless and making silly faces. He slides the screen and the picture changes to the same scenario, except this time Thomas' face is a bit turned to Miro's. He continues to the next picture and Thomas' lips have found their way to Miro's cheeks.

"Ah," Miro can't hide the surprise.

"I'm sorry." Thomas apologizes, having forgotten those pictures in particular.

"It's.. It's okay.. I seem happy."  Miro admits. The Miroslav from the pictures has a nice wide smile that surprises him. 

Thomas turns to Miro and the words come out naturally.

"You were happy, we both were in love." 

Why Thomas Müller can't ever shut up is beyond himself, Miro's expression has changed to a rather uncomfortable one. 

"Love huh?" 

He doesn't want to come off as creepy, so he tries to save the conversation.

"Well, no, not love, uh, I mean we cared about each other, I didn't mean but, I don't even know what I'm saying it's the time difference from Qatar and Rome even if Rome's got the same difference than Munich so it shouldn't really be that hard."

"Thomas."

"I mean come on, the flight is long but it's not like we took a bus or a horse, can you imagine how long a horse would have to walk to get here, and in the winter, poor little thing I'd never let such a precious creature walk in the snow for too long."

"Thomas." 

"I'm sure he'd survive though, poor horses never get credit for anything they do-"

"Thomas!"

The younger stops and looks at Miro who simply laughs. 

"You're making my head hurt, has anyone ever told you you talk a lot?"

"It's more like who hasn't" Thomas admits, which only make Miro laugh again.

They keep talking for a while. It almost feels like before, if they ignore the lack of information in Miro's head. He almost hates himself for noticing.

"You should get some rest, it's late." Thomas reminds him as he checks his phone, 

"Yeah I know."

"I'll walk you, come on."

 

Thomas helps Miro into his bed, he's glad he's able to help. For a moment, he felt like he was with his old Miro. His personality is still the same one Thomas fell in love with.

"Thank you." 

"No problem, it's my pleasure." Thomas winks. He intuitively leans in closer.

"Eh, Thomas.."

Thomas stops inches from his face realising the big mistake he's about to make. Miro's eyes are wide open and shocked. Oh god. He completely forgot their entire situation for a split second. 

"I'm so sorry." He pulls away his cheeks tinted in a pink tone. "I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry, it's a habit." 

Miro gives him an awkward shrug and Thomas wants the world to swallow him alive.

"I'll just go, uh, feel better!" He nervously adds.

"See you around, Thomas." Miro replies as Thomas opens the door.

Miro stares at the door and sighs. What is it about this boy that he finds adorable?

 

He closes the door and slides down to touch the floor.

"Miroslav Klose, you're going to fall in love with me again, I promise, even if it's the last thing I do."

 


	4. Better Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could a Party help Miro with his thoughts?  
> or can a bit of drinks help?

**"Surprise!"**

Miro's eyes open wide as he steps in an unknown house (which was his own apparently) with a crowd of people screaming at him.

"I-"

If he wasn't good at public situations, this made it slightly worse. He was finally out of the hospital, after a couple of weeks and going home was going to be great. Maybe he'd remember something if he saw where he lived. He feels a hand on his back. Thomas' voice fills the room.

"Guys! He's still a bit delicate, try not to scare him away!" 

It's useless though, a sea of people are hugging him. He doesn't know them, they're all faces picked out of nowhere. 

"I'm Mario." 

"Mario Götze, they guy from the final!" Miro finally recognizes a name.

The cheeked boy gives him a smile. "You told me I could do it, you gave me reasons to trust myself, so that goal really happened because of you, so thank you." 

The beer isn't bad and Miro is really thankful. He doesn't know how he'd manage without it with so many new faces.

"And I'm Marco, this is Mats, and .."

Miroslav's attention is distracted by a small woman he spots. Sylwia. He completly ignores Thomas who's walking towards him as he rushes to hug her. 

"Miro, I'm so sorry, I was out of town with work, I couldn't get out of it, and I figured Thomas would be there to take care of you." 

Miro's excitement changes to a confused look which she seems to catch.

"So it's true, you really don't remember."

"You know about...?" 

The last thing he remembers is being happily married to Sylwia.

"About Thomas? Yeah. We talked about it eventually. But we're okay." She sighs.

How on earth him and Thomas happened with Sylwia in the middle is beyond himself. 

"Daddy!" Miro turns to a pair of tall young boys rushing at him. He can't believe his eyes. They're really as big as they were in the pictures Thomas showed him. 

"Luan, Noah!" They hug their father. 

The last memory he has of them is being 3 years old, and now they're 10. Miroslav can barely believe it. 

"Can we talk? Privately." He turns to Sylwia, his voice is shaking. 

 

Thomas serves himself another glass of beer. It's the best he can do after seeing Miro rush at Sylwia like that. He knows Miro's bound to feel guilty about forgetting 7 years of his twins' life, even if it's not his fault. 

"Drinking your issues away? Careful, when you're drunk you're unstoppable."

Thomas stops. He knows exactly who it is. He turns to face his tall old friend. Mario Gomez.

"Hey bud."

"I heard Mr. Grandpa lost his memory, did he really forget about you?"

Thomas tries to keep it cool. He knows Mario never really liked the idea of him and Miro. 

"He'll remember, don't worry. He'll remember all of us." He tries to convince Mario, but also himself. 

"What if he doesn't?"

"What?"

"What if he never does remember, what if you never do get him back?"

Thomas stays quiet for a moment, pretending he hadn't already thought of that scenario in the back of his mind. 

"I'll wait for him, however long it takes." He takes a zip of his drink.

Mario turns to Thomas, and gives him a wink.

"Well, if you ever change your mind... you know where to find me." 

Mario's suggestive look makes Thomas jump. What the hell is he implying? He's always suspected Mario to be slightly jealous of Miro, but to throw himself at him like that? 

It must be the alcohol...

 

Fun music comes up and the mood picks up, Per ends up bringing people to the middle of the living room with a strange pack of moves. Mats laughs lightly and turns to Benni. The blond is laughing at something Julian said. But he has an idea.

"Hey honey!" The dark haired man teases the blond. He pulls his hand and drags him in the middle of the room where everyone is dancing. He starts moving and Benedikt starts blushing. 

"You know I don't dance!" He adds and Mats thanks the amount of alcohol in his blood at the moment. 

" _You're perfect for me._ " is enough for Benni to give in and start busting the most awkward moves Mats has ever seen, which only makes him laugh even more. He gets so into the music he's the star of the crowd in no time and everyone starts clapping their hands with him.

"Look at me go!" He tries to let Mats know until his legs get tangled with themselves and he loses his balance. He falls on no one else but Marco and Mario who were cozily making out on the wall.

"I'm so sorry guys!" Benni apologizes with a huge smile on his face. Mats hurries to help him away before the boyfriends murder him.

"Geez, what a bunch of party poopers." Benni complains. 

"Yeah, yeah, I think you've had enough to drink anyway."

"Nu-uuuh" Benni drowsily adds. "You look fine tonight Matsy..."

"Calm down boy, that's usually my job." He laughs. 

Mats finds his way to the back door, which leads to a porch, air is exactly what Benni needs right now. He opens the door slowly and finds a bench. His boyfriend can barely hold his licor, but to be honest that makes it even cuter, as if Benedikt needed more reasons for Mats to find him adorable. Miro has fantastic taste when it comes to decoration. He sits there with Benni and the blond rests his head on his shoulder. 

After a while, Mats notices a pair of voices coming from the garden, down the steps of the porch. He turns to Benedikt but the man has fallen into deep slumber. 

"I'm just not the same guy! What kind of person does that make me?" Mats recognizes the voice. It's followed by a woman's. 

"Miro, listen, you tried to fight your feelings for him away, it didn't work. You were miserable. Everyone, including myself, knew about how you and Thomas felt about each other. He's a wonderful lad. I've accepted that. You don't have to be sorry."

"I want my old life back." He sighs with a shaky voice. 

Mats notices the door next to him opening. It's no one but Thomas. After so many years in the national team together, there's no surprise that Thomas has also had a bit too much to drink.

He stumbles to where Miro and Sylwia are standing. 

"Mirooooooooooo!" He stops. "I've been looking for you forever. It was lonely in there." 

Sylwia lets out a giggle and excuses herself. 

"I'll go check on the twins." 

But Miroslav's attention is already fully given to the boy. 

"There's a bunch of people  _you do know_ in there though." He reminds him with an raised eyebrow.

"But it's not the same without _you_." Thomas lets out in a giggle. 

Miroslav can't help but smile. It's amazing what Thomas is able to accomplish. He was about to break down in front of Sylwia and in a moment, he's honestly amused. He meant what he said though. He's determined to find his memory back. 

He wants Noah and Luan's childhood back.

He wants his years of experience back.

The boy looks at him with a huge grin. Miro figures out he probably has had a beer or two. 

He even wants his feelings for Thomas back. 

"Miroooo, It'll all work out."

"Huh?" The Pole has a puzzled look on his face.

"You want your memory back because you feel like a bad parent, you feel like if you go back to Lazio, people will except the person you're being told you are. You're afraid you're going to disappoint them. You're not Miro, you're not a disappointment. It's in your blood to be great. You were born for greatness. You just don't remember, but that's okay. You'll figure it out."

Miroslav stands in shock at the boy who gives him a grin again. How on earth did he bloody figure that one out? He hadn't even figured that out himself! And he's drunk!  _On top of that, he's drunk!_

"You look cute when you're surprised." Thomas lets out followed by a small giggle. 

Miro's forced to look away shaking his head.

"I just really know you." He adds, rather embarrassed.

He takes a few steps towards the house to stop at a pair sleeping on the bench. The blond one has his shoulder on the black haired man, whose head is resting on the blond's. He can't help but find it adorable. 

He also can't believe he's about to admit it, butThomas was looking reasonably nice this evening.

Whatever.

It must be the alcohol speaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for basically dying on AO3 but uni is draining the life out of me...  
> I'll try to update this and we're getting löw(e) with lu <3 (you should check that out pls her writing is lovely it's an honour)  
> and and and  
> idk what to say  
> hope you like it! ^^


	5. King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miroslav has fun for the first time in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm terribly sorry for taking so long, but i hope this makes up for it :-)

It's like his brain remembered on it's own. 

The first Italian sentences Miroslav had learnt had come with amazing ease. It's like the knowledge was stored and reopened, well, which technically it was. He sighs. Training was obviously forbidden for him, with his head injury. Miroslav was terribly bored. He hated being in an injured state, not even counting the fact he was on the edge of retirement, he had at most a year of two of professional football. He needed to play. 

"Mirooooooooooooo!" 

Miroslav gives in to the usual smile his face draws when he hears the young man's voice. Thomas walks up the street up to the porch where Miro is sitting at. It's 9 am, how is he even awake?

"I came here to let you know I'll be going back to München pretty soon, we're playing Wolfsburg as soon as the Bundesliga starts again." 

Thomas was leaving already? 

"Oh,"

Miroslav is stunned, not at Thomas, but at the weird hole his stomach is feeling. Ever since he woke up at the hospital, Thomas has been there for him. Even Bastian, Philipp and Lukas had left to their respective clubs, but Thomas had stayed. He had to admit he had grown quite fond of the boy.

"Don't be sad Opa, I'll visit you as soon as I can, I promise."

The young boy walks up the stairs and sits on the chair next to Miro's. 

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Footballer. Would make things easier. Maybe I should have become a private horse inspector... Is that even a thing?"

"Thomas, when are you leaving?" 

"Eh, next Friday, I have to be there a couple of days early to train with the team, you know, we're probably out of it after so long."

"Yeah," Miro's voice trails off. 

"With that in mind... How about we go out on a date? Just you and me." Thomas shoots with a suggestive look on his face.

Miro's eyes widen. He's actually being asked out on a  _date._ What is this, middle school?

"A date?"

"Yeah you know, when you start going out with someone and stuff, and you gussy up, and.. I know I can be annoying but please it'll be as if we're both meeting for the first time."

The hole inside Miroslav has magically vanished. Is he actually looking forward to a date?

"Okay.." 

Thomas smiles widely and Miroslav is glad. 

"Okay I'll be back at 7 sharp. Get ready!" 

Miroslav watches the boy rush on the street and wonders how his skinny body can deal with actual professional playing. Not that Miroslav hasn't spent nights watching his skill videos on youtube or googled his name... Except he totally has.

 

If it wasn't enough to forget your entire life, try getting a great outfit for a date with a bunch of clothes you barely know. Miroslav looked through his entire closet with nothing perfect for tonight. 

"Why does the world do this to me?" He sighs as he falls into his bed. The entire room is filled with clothes on the floor after Miro's effortless exploration. 

After all he has to look nice for Thomas... Not that he wants to impress the boy. Actually, Miro could go in pyjama's and he's sure Thomas would give him the same look he always gives Miro. 

Trying again, he moves a few boxes and freezes. The box at the bottom has a mark on it. 

_Old Footy Jerseys_

Miro rushes. A chance to find something he does know! He opens it and starts pulling them out. He finds some Lazio ones, probably from his early seasons, (he guesses). Until it's there. The Nationalmannschaft 2006 jersey is there, with his number 11 on it. 

Miroslav has always adored playing for his country, and by the looks of it, that hasn't changed. The jerseys were stored with such care and dedication. He gets up and looks around him. The room is a mess but Miro smiles. He has an idea. 

 

"Miroooo!" 

Thomas knocks on his door, He's wearing a jumper with a shirt underneath. He didn't want Miro to think he was too formal, when Thomas was actually the opposite. He wanted to keep it casual. 

Miro opens the door and Thomas forgets how to breathe. His hair is higher than usual, and he's wearing a blazer, which looks  _amazing_ on him. 

"Thomas." The man smiles.

Snapping him back to reality, Thomas smiles back. "You ready?" His heart is beating fast. He would have normally jumped on Miro and kissed him all over his face. But things weren't exactly like before. 

"Yeah, just need to grab a few things." 

Miro comes back with his training bag. Thomas has a confused look on his face but before he can ask, Miro's already out of the door waving for a Taxi.

 

"Um, Miro..? Wasn't I the one inviting you out?"

"What do you mean?" 

"The restaurant you picked was delicious, I mean it, but I thought I was taking you out. An-" 

Miro interrupts him to let the taxi driver know in perfect Italian pronunciation where they're going.

"How did you even manage Italian so fast?"

"I live in Rome, I need to know the basics, also Italian isn't that hard, I think my brain remembers more than I do."

"Pff.." Thomas looks out the window, his mind wandering back to the 5 times he's tried learning it. He doesn't want Miro to think he's stupid or something, it's not his fault though: Thomas and languages don't exactly go well together. 

The Taxi stops and Miro thanks the driver.

"Grazzie!"  

Thomas tries to copy. "Grasssssie..!" 

He follows Miro out of the car and stops at his sight. 

 

"What on earth are we doing in front of a football field?"

Miro grins. "Well, I was thinking maybe you'd want to play with me..."

"Miro, you were in a car accident. There's a reason why you're not playing. Miro!"

The man is already taking off his blazer and shirt. Thomas can't help but blush at the sight. 

"What are you doing?" Thomas looks away, knowing Miro might feel uncomfortable if he keeps his eyes there, as much as he wants to.

"Thomas."

The boy turns his head back at Miro, who's now wearing his 2006 world cup kit. The smile on his face is so genuine, Thomas' heart melts. 

"I also found my 2010 kit, you're welcome to try it on."

How can he say no to that smile?

Thomas lifts up his jumper and starts undoing his shirt. 

"I'm not exactly number 11 though, and my last name isn't Klose." He muses as Miro starts playing with the ball he brought. 

"13 suits you, we're just two numbers apart."

"Yeah it's funny, Mario and Marco are 21 and 19, Benni and Mats are 4 and 5, Basti and Lukas are 7 and 10... It's like the couples meant to be! Poor Manu always complained he wanted to be closer to 16, like Philipp, but Jogi never accepted to change his number 1."

Miro looks back at Thomas with a slightly surprised look on his face. Maybe he should have not said that. 

"Not that we're meant to be only because of numbers."

Miro gives him a shy smile before throwing the ball at him. 

"So Müller, are you as good as your youtube videos say you are?"

Thomas raises an eyebrow. 

"Come and find out yourself" He replies and Miro shares a look of satisfaction. He touches the ball and lifts it up from the ground. 

Thomas controls the ball perfectly, giving it small hits, but he wants to impress Miro. He remembers a trick Robert always does. He's able to lift the ball and keep control of it with his shoulders. Thomas gives the ball a bigger push wanting it to land on his shoulders, but the ball doesn't fall on his shoulder as planed. The next thing he knows, it's on his head causing him a rather unexpected reaction.

"Ah!" He takes a step back but loses his balance and finds his back on the floor. 

He wonders if Miroslav is laughing at him, he probably is. 

"Thomas, are you okay?" 

He opens his eyes to find a concerned Miro on his knees. Of course he wouldn't laugh, memories or not, that guy is still Miroslav. 

"Yeah.." He grumbles. "It works better with shorts I guess."

Thomas gives him a sorry smile as he sits up. 

"You looked good, don't worry." Miro comforts him. 

The park isn't that illuminated but Thomas somehow finds the blue in Miroslav's eyes. The wind is blowing beside them and he's completely taken by the moment. He's gazing at Miroslav and he couldn't care less. He loves zing at him. But this time Miro doesn't look down or blushes. He's silently looking back at Thomas. 

If he could freeze this moment, he would. 

"I don't think we should play with your injury, Miro." He finally speaks, breaking the silence between them. Thomas moves closer to him and pats his head softly. His hair looks amazing, everything about him is amazing. 

"That's fine." Miro finally looks away. 

"Does it hurt?" Thomas asks. 

"Just when I shower, but I deal with it..." Miro's voice trails off when he notices Thomas is even closer and still gazing. There's concern in his eyes. No, there's love too. It makes Miro's heart jump around. He notices the shape of his lips, has Thomas' lips always been this way? 

Thomas leans slowly into Miro's chest. He rests his head there for a few moments, before Thomas pulls away, leaving Miro wanting more contact. 

"Sorry Miro, I got carried away, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He apologizes, before he gets up. 

"I-" 

"You don't have to say anything, I understand. We should go though, it's late."

 

"Wanna come in?" Miro suggests, earning a raised eyebrow from Thomas.

"I actually need to get my sleep back to training schedule." Thomas admits. 

Miroslav doesn't understand, he barely knows this boy, yet he's so attracted to him. His jokes actually amuse him and he really likes him.

"I wish I didn't have to go back to Munich."

The hole is back inside him.

"Will you be gone long?" 

"I probably can find a weekend or two, with Lukas in Milan, Basti's bound to come here, I'm sure I could tag along and end up in Rome..." 

"I'll miss you." Miroslav admits, without thinking. 

Thomas is rather surprised. He didn't expect Miroslav to even care about his absence. 

"I'll miss you too Opa." He smiles. "It's a good thing we have smartphones though, we can text."

"Texting, yeah, I assume you're the Thomas with a heart next to it." 

"Yeah, on my phone you're marked as 'My Miro darling'"

Miro looks at Thomas for a small period, before hopelessly asking:

"What is it about you Thomas?"

"What?" 

"I can't be this into you, when I barely know you! I don't understand." Miro shakes his head, before focusing on Thomas again who seems to be blushing. 

"Maybe you just don't remember you love me, but you do. Like your Italian." 

"Feelings come from the brain though, and the memories are gone."

"I think feelings come from the heart. But don't worry, it's okay." 

Thomas turns around and walks down the porch, before heading to the street for a Taxi, he turns and yells at Miro:

"And like I've said before: I'll wait for you." 

Miroslav is spechless as he watches the Bavarian walk away.

 

Miro walks into his house. His heart is beating extremely fast and he feels over the moon.

Thomas.

He can't get Thomas out of his head. 

His phone buzzes, he turns to his pocket. Except it's not Thomas, it's someone Miro hadn't heard from since the party. 

It's Mario Gomez. 

 

 

 


	6. Domino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bayern play Wolfsburg, but something is making Thomas to have his head out of the game, what could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M FINALLY ON VACATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON  
> that means more writing (i can't wait to update my other fic with Lu <3)  
> hope everyone still likes this story :))

"So, how Italy?" 

Mario drinks a zip of his coffee as Miro watches. He barely knows the guy, he remembers him being a part of the new guys on the national team back in 2007, but nothing really special about him. There's something that throws him off though, something about the way he's looking at Miro. But then again he and Mario might have been the best of friends and Miroslav wouldn't even remember today. He's thankful he's not forgotten Bastian or Lukas, even Philipp.

"How are things with Thomas?"

Why would he mention Thomas? Well, it wasn't a surprise Mario was aware of their relationship, he guessed everyone on the national team knew about it. The fact Miro was growing incredibly fond of Thomas made him uncomfortable. He disliked the fact everyone seemed to know more about him and Thomas than he did. 

"They're okay, he's..."

Amazing. Attractive. Interesting. Intriguing. Hilarious...

"Something." Miro finally decides.

Mario laughs and Miro doesn't really understand why. 

"That's an understatement." Mario snaps with an annoyed tone.

Miro feels his phone vibrate, and takes it out of his pocket in a second. Mario notices the obvious puppy smile on his face. He rolls his eyes. After Miro puts it away, his attention focuses back on Mario.

"So what is it you desperately needed to talk to me about?" Miro muses.

"Miroslav, I wanted to let you know how happy I am for you and the fact you're getting your life back together."

"Thank you."  He replies with an honest smile.

"I'm surprised you took the entire thing so well, actually."

Miro nods. "It's hard, but I'm getting there. I've got plenty of help, too."

"That's good to hear. I was concerned how you'd take that whole retirement thing to be honest and not being in Bayern."

He swallows. He's still not used to being retired. He can't imagine how hard it's going to be when Jogi calls the team up for the first time. He doesn't know what to say and to his relief Mario continues.

"Especially the fact you forgave Thomas about that Bayern thing."

Suddenly the relief leaves. Thomas? 

"Forgive him?"

Mario looks surprised. 

"Oh, I'm sorry... I thought you knew."

Know what? Miro waits for Mario to continue. 

"Well, Thomas is mainly the reason why you left Bayern. Being younger and all, Van Gaal basically thought he was better than you. He ended up selling you to Lazio, here. He did the same to me too though, but that was later, I got to get the tremble with Bayern. I remember Thomas drinking a lot that night...."

He can't believe his ears. He doesn't want Mario to see how upset this is making him. Thomas is the reason he's out of there? Why did no one tell him?More importantly, why didn't  _Thomas_ tell him. 

"What did I have to say to this? I'm sure Thomas wouldn't have stopped me if I was able to play." 

"Uh, I remember you and Thomas bickering. I guess you gave in."

Giving in? Who is this new Miroslav Klose who  _gives in_ into ruining his career? 

"I should go. Glad to see you, anything you need, I'm a phone call away." 

Mario gets up and turns around, leaving Miro in the coffee shop on his own. His phone makes another sound, but this time Miro doesn't even feel like looking at it. He knows exactly who it is, and he feels so disappointed he doesn't even want to reply.

 

* * *

Philipp walks down the changing room. 

"Manuuuuuuuuuu!" 

He almost misses Bastian who's laying on a bench with his phone. 

"Have you seen Manuel?" Philipp inquires, looking around. No reply from the blond. "Can you stop texting Lukas one bloody second and help me out?"

"The duck? No I haven't seen him." 

"He's not a duck." 

"Whatever you say Captain!"

Philipp rolls his eyes as he continues his search for Manuel. He's in the gym now. He runs into Robert and Arjen who are both working out. 

"Hey have you guys seen Manuel?" 

Robert puts his bottle of water down and nods. 

"I'm pretty sure I saw him with Thomas." 

"Did you happen to see where they left?" 

Arjen jumps in, "Pretty sure Manuel was talking about cheering Thomas up, maybe they're in the kitchen."

 _I am actually looking for a pair of children._ Philipp sighs as he walks towards the kitchen. 

He finds his way to the kitchen and finds no sign of Manu or Thomas. Instead, he runs into a rather joyful David Alaba.

"David, have you seen Manuel or Thomas?"

"Yeah, they were just in here." 

Finally some progress! Philipp can't hide his excitement. 

"Where did they go!?" 

"Outside, I think, Manu had nutella with him." David bites his apple as he walks away, and Philipp runs outside. 

There they are, except it's not the image he expects. Thomas and Manuel are both sitting on the field. It's not like them to sit in silence.. at all. It's rather disconcerting. 

"You should really talk to him about it."  Philipp hears Manuel finally say. 

"How? He doesn't even reply properly. It's not like I can fly there, we have the Bundesliga."

"Guys?" Thomas and Manuel turn surprised at Philipp. 

"Oh, hey Fips." Manu greets him with a smile. Thomas, however pouts. 

"What's wrong Thomas?" He asks. 

Thomas sighs and Philipp can see tears forming in his eyes. "It's Miroslav."

_Oh no._

Thomas explains. Miroslav barely has replied ever since he came back from Rome, he's not sure if it's the distance or the fact that he's not there to help him. He's terrified he's forgetting again about Thomas. 

"I've called him and it's like he's mad at me, but I don't understand why. When I ask, he avoids the subject, I don't think I've ever gotten in a fight with him. I'd always be the hot headed one and he'd calm me down."

"He's probably really having a hard time not being able to play. Once in 2005 he broke his jaw, he begged to keep playing and one week later he was on the pitch with a mask. Playing is something really precious to him." Philipp tries to explain.

"I know, but I felt like we were going somewhere... I guess I let myself get my hopes up."

"Last time I saw Miro he seemed happy to be with you." Manu admits. 

"It is weird," Fips agrees. "Just give him time, he'll come around." 

"Yeah" Thomas sighs as he gets up and walks towards the door. When he's far away, Philipp turns to Manuel. 

"Where have you been all day?! I've been looking for you everywhere."

"I found Thomas on the edge of crying so I took him to see some horses to cheer him up." Manu admits, with a shocked look on his face.

"Always looking out for your teammates. I like that about you."

Manuel smiles and blushes. 

"I was actually looking for you because I found something... It's a recipe for Nutella brownies. I thought you might be interested..."

Manuel's eyes open wide at the mention of his favorite treat.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Philipp grins. 

Manuel takes the smaller man into his arms and holds him tight.

"You always know how to make my day!" 

* * *

 

The fans are cheering outside. The Allianz Arena is filled with Bayern fans and Wolfsburg fans from around the country. It's the first date after the long winter break. Thomas' life has changed so much since 2014. Usually he'd be shaking with energy to show the world what Bayern is really made of. 

Today he just wants to crawl back into his bed. 

If only Miroslav hadn't been in that accident, if only he hadn't lost his memory... If only he hadn't forgotten Thomas. At this point there's only one thing Thomas can think of to make him feel better.

He goes for his phone in his bag. Five minutes wont kill anyone, and there's 15 minutes till' kickoff too. The phone rings and his stomach is mixing itself up with nerves.

"Hello?" Miroslav's calm voice is already a comfort, even if he's not aware of it.

"Miro." Thomas manages to say. He notices his voice is shaking.

"Oh Thomas, what is it?" 

Thomas has gotten used to his tone, but he tries to ignore it.

"I'm about to play against Wolfsburg, I hope you're watching me!" He jokes.

Silence on the line.

"Enjoy it, you're Bayern's shinning star." Miroslav finally says after a minute.

"Miro, what did I do?"

Silence again, but this time he can't control himself. He needs his Miro.

"Seriously! I don't get it! We were doing fine, I.. I'm sorry.. I don't know what to do. Did you forget again about me?" Thomas babbles.

"Maybe you should have been more honest with me." Miro snaps. 

"What?" 

"I should go Thomas."

"Honest? What on earth are you talking about?"

"You should know. I just can't believe you didn't tell me."

A voice comes from behind. 

**_5 mintues till' kick off!_ **

"Miro, listen to me, we need to talk about this." 

"Yeah, have fun playing." 

What on earth?

"Talk to you later."

Thomas stares at the phone with an empty look on his face. Honest? Has he ever lied to Miro? He can't think of a single time he lied. He should feel sad, but he's not sad, he's angry. 

* * *

"Want some nutella brownies?"

Thomas turns to the other edge of the couch to find Manu eating. 

"Fips made them for me, since he's injured and all."

Thomas turns back to the ceiling. Wolsfburg Bayern was a disaster. 4-0. He wasn't in the game, at all. All he could think was of Miro's words.

_Maybe you should have been more honest with me._

The pair hadn't talked since and it made Thomas' life far more miserable. Sure he had been angry, but now he missed him more than never. He didn't feel like eating, he didn't feel like playing, he didn't feel like doing anything at all.

Manu gives in and moves over to turn on the TV, there's a news channel going on and it's about the Champions league. 

_You should know. I just can't believe you didn't tell me._

Thomas sits up with a confused look on his face. He doesn't even want to know what Miro came up with. He walks to the window and looks out. The sky is grey, he wonders if the sky is also grey in Rome. 

"Thomas, you better look at this."

He turns back to find Miro on TV, Manu swallows another piece of his brownies.

**"World Star Miroslav Klose has finally returned to Lazio training! There's no way of limiting this man's will. Reports claim he has had some amnesia, losing the memories of the two last world cups, one of which he became World Champion. He is expected to play against Genoa next Friday, following Lazio's defeat against Cesena 2-1."**

"He's already playing?" A confused Thomas asks.

"Looks like it. Didn't the doctors say he needed min a month or two?" 

"He can do whatever he wants. He's old enough." Thomas turns off the TV. "If he's not interested, neither am I."

"Thomas.." Manuel starts, knowing he doesn't mean it. "He doesn't remember you." 

"He doesn't... need me, we both know that. It's better if I move on before I get more hurt."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. I'm actually over him." Thomas smiles.

Manu has a puzzled look on his face.

"Who needs an ancient guy who's on the edge of retirement anyway? I'm better off without him."

Manu nods, which surprises Thomas.

"You agree?!"

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

Thomas shakes his head and sits back into his couch, ignoring his friend turning on his phone.

* * *

 

He knows he has to get over it. He needs to let go of Miroslav Klose.

Break ups are so hard. How do you get over someone who has been in your heart since you were 20? He's always been  _the one_ for Thomas. Having to push that out of his heart is difficult. He needs to stop caring. He figured if he told everyone he had stopped caring, it'll eventually stick. And he's doing a perfect job on it. He's asked Bastian to take him out for lunch, to clear his thoughts, talk about Oktoberfest, horses, golf, fun stuff. If he keeps pretending he doesn't care, it'll eventually be true. 

"So, what's up with Miro?"

Thomas knew that was coming.

"I don't know, he got mad at me and I've got no idea why, but I stopped caring."

Basti raises an eyebrow.

" _Stopped caring?_ "

"Yeah." Thomas takes a zip of his beer. "How's Lukas in Milan?"

"Don't avoid the subject Müller."

"I'm not,  _Schweinsteiger."_

"So you totally stopped caring about the guy you spent 5 years of your life together, not counting the years you crushed on him like a teenage girl."

Thomas swallows. He can't let Basti look how hurt he is, he needs to be strong.

"I'm over it."

"Oh, okay then." Basti gives in as he turns for the waitress. "Oi!"

The young woman comes immediately, and Thomas pouts on the table. Miroslav's words still echo in his head.

"No problem" The girl replies with a smile and Basti thanks her. 

"I guess you wont mind if we watch the Lazio game then." Basti winks and Thomas turns to see the waitress changing the channel on the pub's TVs. 

"I should go." Thomas tries to save himself, but it's useless: Basti looks at him with an intimidating look.

"If you go I'll make Philipp give you extra work on training next week."

"I'm not scared of Fips..." Thomas objects.

"You're right, I'll tell Pep."

Thomas swallows and sits down. Pep's extra work routines are far worse than watching a Lazio game, even if Miroslav is in it.

He can spot him without effort. The game kicks off and he's in the starting eleven. He remembers Miro complaining about his DT not giving him enough play time. He's sure he's pleased to be back.

Miro gets the ball, he gives a correct pass. Thomas can imagine how nervous Miro must be feeling, yet he finds him so relaxed. Thomas is actually way more into the game than Basti, who's on his phone, probably texting Lukas. 

An opportunity to score. He shoots. Thomas curses as the keeper denies Miro an early goal. He can't help but remember all their happy times. For a moment, Thomas' smile is genuine, all the training Miro has given him, all the advice he's received, the small kisses between practice hiding from Jogi, the teasing from their teammates, the time they confessed their feelings for each other, even if Thomas knew how Miro felt a year before he finally admitted it. 

Basti smiles as he tries to get his friend's attention but fails, he's completely lost in the game. 

"That should have been a foul!" Thomas yells. He can't help but think the Lazio jersey looks amazing on Miroslav. As usual.

But then, he remembers, the phone call before the Wolfsburg game comes back to his head. His eyes feel a bit teary, he doesn't want to let go, he wants his Miro back, he wants his Opa who remembers him as the annoying ball boy who Maradona criticized back in 2010. 

But he can't let this happen. He gets up, he can't watch this anymore. 

"I'm sorry Schweini, I can't do this."

He gets his coat and takes out a couple of bills out of his wallet. 

"Thomas."

"It's too hard for me to watch him after ev-"

"No, Thomas, look." Bastian's voice is cold.

Thomas turns to the TV. He doesn't want to believe what he's seeing. Miroslav is on the ground. The replay shows a corner kick flying above the pitch as Miro goes in for the header, but misses the ball and knocks his head with the goal keeper. He falls immediately to the ground. His eyes are open but he's not moving, and to Thomas' fear: he's not getting up.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, so sorry for taking so long but i'll try to keep this updated :)


	7. Come out, come here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miro and Thomas finally talk about their problems, :)

The crowd cheers, mixed in a sea of colors, including white and yellow. They're chanting a song Miro can't exactly recognize. He turns around, a ball is thrown his way, he kicks it without thinking. He's wearing a red and black jersey, three stars on it. It's the national team away jersey, he soon realises. He sprints again. Germany wins a corner kick. He makes out the yellow jersey from the other team. Brazil. 

Is this what the world cup would have been if he could remember? He's dreamed various times about it, but this feels too real. Toni Kroos kicks the ball from the corner and it's in, by no other than Thomas Müller. The boy smiles and jumps around with everyone. Miro can't believe his own feelings, he's incredibly happy. He wants to run into his arms, and the next thing he does is exactly that. Thomas is even opening his arms ready for him in the middle of the celebrating team. He wants to hold on forever, but he's forced to let go.

He's getting tired, he needs to keep playing. Brazil is troubled by the first goal, Miro can feel their stress. At one point, Boateng intercept their pass and gives it to Toni, who at his turn, gives it to Thomas. Miro sprints and for a moment, they're side by side running towards the goal. He has to admit he feels hypnotized by the moment. Thomas spots him and tries to give him the pass, but is blocked off by Dante. What an amazing player that Müller is.

However, Thomas quickly hurries to the side and throws the ball to Fips, who gives it back. Thomas passes the ball to Toni, who makes a run for it. Miro moves into a better position, and Toni passes the ball. Except it's not for him, behind, Thomas receives the pass. But Thomas doesn't shoot as Miro expects, he notices the young man looking at him and screams "Miro now!". Miro's body acts automatically, Thomas gives him a small pass and he shoots. It's blocked by the keeper, but fails to keep the ball in his hands and Miro takes the advantage.

_Miroslav Klose is now the top goalscorer from all World Cups! Germany leads 2-0!_

Miro celebrate as usual and Fips catches him soon enough. Top goalscorer? 

"You did it! You broke the record!" He screams as he hugs Miro.

It's all thanks to Thomas. Miro turns around looking for the young man. He can't find him. He has to thank him, he has to hug hi...

"Thomas!" He yells, and for a second he catches a glimpse of his number, turning around to him, before he feels his vision going blurry. His body is heavy and his legs can't keep him up. "Thomas.."

 

Everything is black, until Miro finds the strength to open his eyes. The crowd is gone: he's not in the match anymore. It was just a dream. He can make out white walls around him. Where is he? 

"Thom..." 

He's laying on a hospital bed. He tries to move, to find pain as a response accompanied with a headache. He has to admit he's starting to panic, but his body calms down as a hand touches his own. He focuses to find Thomas looking at him.

"Miro, I'm here, don't worry." His voice is incredibly gentle. It calms Miroslav down. 

"Thomas.." Miro manages to whimper. "What happened?" 

"You remember me!" Thomas' smile is wide, even if he tries to hide it a bit. 

Miro raises an eyebrow. 

"Wait, do you remember everything?" Thomas' eyes lit up. "In movies when someone hits their head again they remember everything!"

Miro sighs. "I remember you since my car crash accident, I'm sorry. What are you even doing here?" Miro tries to ignore the urge to hug him, which is surprisingly hard. 

Thomas nods with a sarcastic smile. "Typical of you going back training when you think you feel alright even if the doctors told you not to."

Miro looks to the ceiling, the images are coming back to him, he remembers being on the pitch with Lazio.

"Did we win?" 

"Genoa won 1-0, sorry." Thomas admits. "You need to take better care of yourself, the doctor told me you could have died. You had a bloody second impact syndrome! The brain is more vulnerable and susceptible to injury after an initial brain injury, which was your car crash hit, it only takes a minimal force to cause irreversible damage. You could have died Miroslav!" 

Miro looks stunned at the boy, he can't remember him being this upset before. But he remembers what Mario told him.

"Why would you care?" He says without thinking.

"Maybe because I'm in love with you."

Miro's expression changes. 

"You love me? _Do you even know what love is_? Love isn't being selfish you know! You're 25 years old, what could you possibly know about love."

"How am I being selfish? I came all the way here from Munich because I needed to see for myself that you were okay!"

"You didn't seem to care when you sent me away from Bayern!"

Thomas' expression has changed from angry to stunned.

"Huh?" Miro ignored the obliviousness on the boy's face.

"Mario told me the truth, how thanks to you, I was sold to Lazio. If you really loved me like you claim, you wouldn't have made me go. And you could have told me, but you didn't." 

Silence in the room, Thomas is quite shocked at this revelation.

"Mario Gomez told you this?" 

Miro raises an eyebrow. 

"You should go, Thomas." He adds. 

"You probably had no idea, but Mario has been in love with me since the day we met, which was before I even met you. He's always been trying to ruin what we have... Countless times has he told me you're too old for me, but I never thought he'd mess with you. I never once wanted you to leave Bayern Miro, I begged you to stay. I had never been away from you. I was scared of losing you. You were the one who felt like your age of gold was over. I tried telling you you were wrong, that you had a couple of years left in Bayern, I can promise you, I would never do anything like that."

Miro can't even look at him. Thomas takes his jacket and opens the door.

"It's funny though, looks like Mario finally got what he wanted. He got us fighting. Take care Miro, because unlike Mario, I _do_ care about you."

Miro thinks he can see a tear on his cheek, but when he's gone, the images of his dream come back. He felt euphoric when Thomas scored his goal, and Thomas had been selfless, giving him what might have been his 6th goal, to an old man to break his record. Even if it was only just a dream, Miro could see it.

Thomas Müller was incredibly selfless.

Miroslav Klose was now the biggest jerk on the planet, and maybe Thomas is really better off without him.

* * *

 

Miroslav thanks the existence of smartphones. He can check Thomas's tweets without him knowing, he can even set an alarm for when he tweets. 

Does that make him a Stalker?

He shrugs, he's been wanting to text him but doesn't know how to approach the young Bavarian. After all, Thomas deserves someone younger and nicer...

Truth is: he can't shake the feeling he had when he scored to hug Thomas. He still desperately needs it. 

His thoughts are interrupted with Luan running into the house with a Lazio shirt on. 

"Daddy, can we go play Football?"

"I don't think I can yet, how about you go with Noah?"

Luan pouts.

"How come Thomas never comes play anymore? Is he mad at us?" 

Miro doesn't know how to reply. 

"Oh no, he's not mad, he's busy at Bayern, that's all." He tries to explain. 

"He used to be busy and still came anyway." The child pouts. 

"Did he come often?" Miro asks. 

Luan acknowledges his father's memory problems and explains. "Yeah, he used to play all day with me and Noah. Teach us tricks and stuff. Sometimes I would play with you and Noah would team up with Thomas.. We'd always win though." 

Another voice comes from the living room. 

"That's not true! Me and Thomas always used to win!"

Miro smiles, 

"Well I guess I can go watch you two if you want, let's go."

He gets up and loses balances. 

"Dad!"

"I'm okay, I just got up too quickly." Miroslav smiles. "Go get the ball, I'll go outside."

His phone rings, and even if he hopes it's Thomas, he knows it's not. Nevertheless, he picks it up. It's Mario again.

"Mario?"

"Miro! How are you?" 

"I'm doing good, thanks."

"I saw about your incident against Genoa, just wanted to check in."

Miro finds it incredible that Mario manages to sound concerned, when he told him lies about Thomas.

"What's up?" Miro wants to go straight to the point.

"I wanted to invite you to a party Benni is throwing. Thomas might be there though, and I didn't want you to feel awkward, so I took the liberty of telling them you might not be going. Everybody understood because of your head."

"What? You told them I wasn't going?" 

"Well your head needs car-"

"I'm fit enough!"

The idea of Mario being alone with Thomas wasn't a great one, and Miro wanted to see Thomas, even if it was in a friendly way.

"No you're not." Mario insisted.

"I'm going to call Philipp for more information on the party, thank you for taking care of me Mario."

He hangs up before Mario can even reply.

"What a jerk." Miro rolls his eyes before hearing Noah calling his name. 

* * *

 

Toni runs to Benni.

"Heyyyyyyyyy buddy!"

"I'm so glad you could make it, being with Real Madrid and all!"

"Gelsenkirchen is never far away when you make a party, I'm expecting the whole NT to be here, considering there's no games this weekend!" 

"I think so!"

Reunions in the footballer's living room, everyone is serving themselves beer except Thomas, who's sitting on the couch. It's not long before Marco sits next to him.

"I never thought I'd see the day." 

Thomas ignores his friend. 

"Thomas Müller not being the life of the party _and_ not drinking beer? Mario owes me 50 euros."

"Go away." Thomas mumbles, as his head finds a pillow.

Marco greets someone ignoring Thomas.

"Mario!"

Great, the couple is going to be spreading love next to the idiot who can't get over his ex. Mario and Marco always make out at parties... and everywhere really.

"How are things in Fiorentina?" 

Thomas freezes as those words. It's not who he thinks it is. His head peaks to find his former teammate. Mario Gomez. He can't help but feel angry, it's basically his fault Miro won't even talk to him now. He needs to keep his cool. At least Marco is in the middle to keep them apart. 

"Thomas." Mario greets him.

"Mario.." 

Marco gets up. "Well you were asking me to leave." He winks as he ignores Thomas' glare.

"So Mülli, how are you?" There's a suggestive tone in his voice that annoys Thomas even more. 

"I'm kind of tired of this party, if you don't mind."

Thomas gets up to follow Marco, but loses him, so instead he tracks the way outside of Benni's house. He needs air, desperately.

"Thomas, wait." A hand on his shoulder.

"Mario, leave me alone." 

"But.."

"I mean it."

"I love you." He can tell Mario has been drinking a bit.

"I can't do this right now."

"Do what now? Don't tell me you're still hung up on that silly old striker." 

It's enough to make Thomas burst. 

"I know what you told Miroslav. Aren't you ashamed? He's injured, he has amnesia and you take advantage of that? What kind of sick person does that?" 

This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. Confrontation. 

"You have no shame! Never mind that it's because of you he hates _me_ now, but you made him feel less of himself, like a failure. He's nothing but a winner, he just doesn't remember it. What's wrong with you? Yes I'm still _hung up_ on him because unlike you he's an amazing person and I don't think I'll ever find someone like him again, so that's why I'm asking you especially to leave _him_ alone."

The room has stopped talking and Thomas can feel that everyone is watching. He manages to glimpse at Basti and Fips who are part of the crowd. He can already imagine Basti scolding him for his usual  _hot headed behaviour._  

"Thomas." 

It's not the voice he expects at all. His head follows the trail to find Miroslav. What is he even doing here? Lukas told him he wasn't coming because of his injury. Thomas doesn't know what to say. He turns back to Mario who's already walking outside the door. His heart drops, did he just hear the outburst?

"I'm... I'm.." Thomas wants to hide. He can't go outside anymore, Mario is there, so he catches the stairs and rushes upstairs. Benni's room should probably be free.

He stumbles in to catch Mats and Benni quite closer than usual. The pair separate immediately at Thomas' sight, who ignores them and lets himself fall on the bed. 

"Müller! What on earth?" An annoyed Benedikt yells. 

"Guys I need to hide." He whimpers. 

Mats rolls his eyes and grabs his lover's hand. "Let's get out of there Benni, poor Mülli looks like he's seen a ghost."

Thomas touches his heart, it's beating faster than when he's playing. 

The door opens again.

"I said go away you lovebirds." Thomas whines covering his eyes.

"You didn't have to run away like that." aaaaaaaaaand it's Miro. Thomas gets up in a heartbeat, and starts babbling.

"I'm sorr- sorry Mi-Miro Miro I'm sorry I should go I'm sorr-"

"Thomas." The man starts.

"No you're probably even madder at me now which I totally understand I don't want to be a both-"

Miro puts his hands on both his shoulders.

"I'm not mad at all." The man says, "Calm down." He can feel Thomas shaking. 

Thomas can't help it any longer. Tears stream down his face and he can't stop it. 

"I just ju-" He tries to babble, which makes Miro put a hand on his cheek. 

"Thomas, calm down." He dries a tear that has fallen on Thomas' cheek with his hand. "I'm not mad, really. You're amazing." Thomas catches a glimpse of his beautiful blue eyes, which actually do the trick. He's always been surprised how Miro manages to relax him so easily. "Thank you, for what you said downstairs... it means a lot."

Thomas sniffs. Miro's so close to him, it's hard to remember the last time they were in this position.

"I think... I care a bit about you." Miro admits, with a smile between his teeth. 

"A bit?" Thomas repeats slowly. 

"I want... I want to be with you." Miro nervously adds. "I know it doesn't make sense, but there's something about you I can't avoid, I can't stop thinking about you. I... I guess you're irresistible." 

He pulls Thomas in for a hug, the one he's longed for so long ever since he woke up the second time at the hospital. It's even more than what he expected. He feels like his heart is going to explode. Thomas looks stunned. 

"Are you sure you don't remember anything Miro?" 

He should tell him about the dream he had at the hospital, but he doesn't. He's not sure if it's a memory or a dream, but he wants to think of it as a memory. 

"No, why?" 

"It's not the first time you call me irresistible." 

Miro pulls back, with a confused look on his face.

"Sounds a lot like what you told me when you first confessed your feelings for me." 

Miro can feel his cheeks blushing.

"Well, I-"

"Took you less ¡though, the first time was after a year." Thomas giggles. 

"Did I say anything else?" 

Thomas' face turns serious. "Do you really want to know?" 

Miro nods, and Thomas blushes.

"It's more about what you did .." 

Miro is about to ask what he means but he's stopped by Thomas' lips against his own. If his heart was about to burst earlier, this feeling beats it. He wants to pull Thomas closer, never let him go. They deepen the kiss as their lips find comfort in each other. Miro pushes Thomas a bit too much and they end up against the wall. Thomas' hands find their way under Miro's shirt and Miro purrs with pleasure. They both smile in the kiss. Thomas pulls away gasping for air. 

"Well, the first time wasn't exactly like this.." He admits, between breaths. 

"That's alright, we can make new memories together." Miro whispers before kissing him again, which makes Thomas giggle. "Like the time you almost kissed me at the hospital when I had no idea of who you were." 

"It's an habit!" Thomas pretends to act offended. 

"You shouldn't let the habit die..." Miro teases him, before pulling his body with Thomas' on the bed. 

"Be careful with that head of yours" Thomas reminds him, landing on top of Miro. He quickly slides to the side and gazes at Miro. Their legs are tangled in each other.

He's missed this so much, simply laying next to each other in silence. 

"This is the realest thing I've felt in my entire life." He admits. "Being with you makes me happy." 

Miro gives him a genuine smile, but it fades. "I'll miss you when you go back to Munich."

Thomas moves his face closer to his. "I know, but I promise to visit a lot, plus... There's international break pretty soon... I bet I can talk Jogi into inviting you." 

Miro's eyes light up. He figured he'd have to stay home and watch the national team play on his TV. 

"I promise we'll be fine." Thomas assures him. For the first time, Miro believes him and next thing he knows, they're both asleep on Benedikt's bed. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the last chapter, which is basically why this one is fluffier, now mostly fluff  
> (i love fluff ok)  
> also i'll def be updating more often because i'm on vacation and idk why i'm super inspired, thomas and miro have that effect on me i guesssss


	8. Dancing Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miro joins die Mannschaft as a guest, which usually involves crazy moments!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: so much cheese in this chapter idk how that happened i'm like a cheese machine

Bastian rushes inside of the hotel room shivering. He curses when he can't find a warm sweater fast enough.

"Who are you and what have you done to my Basti?" 

Lukas teases his boyfriend who has a very annoyed look on his face from the couch.

"Thomas used all the hot water in our room this morning, I had to shower with cold, freezing water!" 

"Shhh, maybe I can help and heat you up?" Lukas gets up and folds his arms around an angry Schweinsteiger who finally sighs.

"You always know what to do." He admits with a small smile. 

"Why did he take so much time to shower though? You'd think an hotel would have enough warm water for a single room.  Also it's Thomas, he nevers gets really dressed up for anyone or anything, his hair is always messy, even after practice he always has to eat before showering, it's quite disgusting, and..."

"Miro's coming."

Lukas nods. "Okay, that explains it."

* * *

Thomas rushes downstairs in a hurry. It's been so long, so long since he was this excited for international break. This time it would be different, this time, Miro would be there, just like Miro had been there countless times before he retired. The plane from Rome was scheduled at 9:00 am, but since Thomas had taken his time to look a bit nicer than usual, he was late. 

He's sure Miro has arrived to the hotel, probably lost somewhere, yet he can't seem to find him. After running through the same room three times, he takes another look at his phone. No reply from Miro.

"I saw him with Jogi." An amused André lets him know from the couch without leaving his phone. It's funny how everyone simply knows.

He rushes into Jogi's room upstairs without knocking. Miro and Joachim both turn around at the outburst.

Miroslav's face softens, with a small smile while Jogi's expression is the opposite, but he eventually gives up and rolls his eyes. 

He turns to Miro. "As I was saying, you'll be sharing rooms with Höwedes." 

Thomas tries to hide his nonconformity, but his mind is already speaking. "Miro always used to share rooms with  _me._ "

Mats will probably be annoyed when he find out anyway, he's not doing this only for himself.

Jogi faces Thomas. "Last time was the world cup, I can't put Benedikt and Mats together because they're always late for training, and the only person Mats accepts to be with beside Benedikt is you Thomas." 

Thomas rolls his eyes. He's gonna kill Mats when he sees him. 

He and Miro exit the room and he takes the opportunity to grab his hand. Miro blushes a bit then asks.

"Who was Mats again?" 

"The guy who Benni is with, brown haired with a _I'm going to kill you_ look on his face but actually a puppy."

"Oh, right." 

They walk up the stairs of the hotel. Half way there ,Thomas stops and pushes Miro to the wall, who blushes again at him getting extremely close.

"This is the plan, I know Mats is going to die to get to Benni's room, so at 11 pm when everyone is sleeping you're going to tell Benni you're going for a swim and I'm going to tell Mats to switch rooms."

Miro listens half of the plan, being too focused on the fact Thomas is whispering and looks extremely attractive from where he's standing. He's kinda relieved to know he's in a relationship with him.

"Come on," He pulls Miro who follows. They run into Karim and Julian, and Miro sighs, he can't place them at all. His condition is frustrating. 

"Miroslav!" The pair turn to Lukas who has a big grin on his face as usual.

"Finally someone I know!" Miroslav lets out automatically and turns to hug his friend. Thomas can't help but feel bad, Miro used to be the one who helped everyone. If someone had a problem they could always trust Miro to listen. Now he's probably forgotten all the advice he knew. 

"I'll go check some stuff." Thomas adds in the background. He leaves the friends together as he finds some coins in his pockets, maybe he can comfort Miro with a small surprise.

* * *

 

Miroslav lays on the bed. His mind wanders to 2006, back to the last world cup... he remembers, Lukas admiting his feelings to Miro about Basti. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit jealous. Having someone like Basti had Lukas sounded wonderful. But he didn't know anyone that could be that special for him... yet. Who would have known he'd have Thomas in a few years. Lukas sits next to him.

"I heard things are working out with Mülli. _  
_

Miro smiles. He had actually found in Thomas what he was looking for. "I misjudged him, he's really different."

"You seem happy." Lukas admits, which earns a look from Miro. "I think true love always finds the way in the end. It found you and Thomas twice, didn't it?" 

There's an awkward silence, before Miro starts.

"I miss my memories Lukas, Thomas looks at me with so much love, so many feelings are inside of him. I know he sees in me the old Miroslav."

"You're still the same guy, Miro."

Miro sighs. He's had the world cup dream again. He wants to tell Lukas about it, but he's terrified. He's barely holding on to that piece of memory he has. He doesn't want it to be just a dream. It's always the same scene, Thomas looks at him, gives him the ball, he shoots, he's the top goal scorer and he wants to hug Thomas, but he can't. At least he can hug him in real life.

"How are things with Bastian?" Miro muses.

Lukas blushes. "We've been together for 10 years, it's been amazing." 

"I'm happy for you." Miro's eyes are getting tired, flights always making him exhausted. "I really am." 

 

* * *

 

Thomas walks in to Miro's room, with a bunch of candies in a bag, chocolate in an other, hoping for Benedikt to be somewhere else. He opens the door, it's unlocked. He creeps inside. When he looks around, he notices Miro is on the bed, lost in sleep.

He looks peaceful, he thinks, as he leaves the bags on the table. He could honestly stare at him all day, even if that'd be weird. He even left his shoes on and the windows without curtains. Thomas figures the flight must have been demanding. 

"I love you." He whispers knowing Miro can't hear him. 

"He can't hear you." Thomas jumps as he hears Benedikt from behind.

"Shhhhh, you'll wake him up." He scolds his friend. 

They step outside leaving the door a bit open. 

"So Höwedes, I hear you're playing against Aussie."

"Does he know who I am? When I got here he was already sleeping." 

"Miro? Yeah, well, he did go to your party." 

"It's a shame what happened to him."

Thomas nods before looking back at Miro who's still asleep. But there's something off, he leaves Benni talking alone.

He was right: Miro is shaking and sweating. It seems like something is upsetting him.

"No, please, I don't want.. I don't-" He whimpers. Thomas sits next to him and touches his shoulder softly. Miro starts shaking even more, it's clear he's not having a pleasant dream. 

Thomas doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to upset him by waking him up, but he can't let him suffer in the dream longer. He follows his instinct and lays down putting his body against Miro's. Maybe a hug will help him tranquilize his dream self. 

After a few minutes, Miro's body relaxes. Thomas smiles as he can imagine Benni rolling his eyes. 

"Thomas?" 

He barely hears Miro's whisper. 

"Yeah?" He replies.

"I'm sorry." Thomas notices his voice is shaking. 

"Hey, it's alright, you only had a bad dream. It's okay, you're with the national team and you're with me." 

Miro looks like he's seen a ghost. Thomas would ask but he doesn't want to make things worse. He simply holds him a bit closer. 

 

"I thought.. I.. I would forget everything again." Miro admits after drinking a zip of tea. It's getting late but he understands that Miro doesn't want to go back to bed.

"You wont, don't worry."

He wants to tell Thomas it's not the first time he's had these dreams. It's hard. Miroslav doesn't understand why it's so hard to admit he's being haunted. 

"Want to go for a walk?" The Bavarian suggests.

There's something in Miro's heart that warms every time Thomas smiles. 

 

"I really miss playing football." Miroslav admits, as they walk under the moonlight. "Playing sports, distractions." The air is cool as the dark folds them, the night before them. 

Thomas stays silent. He knows how Miro must be feeling, he knows him too well. 

"I'm sure you know how to dance." He teases. 

"Dance?" Miro's tone is skeptical.

Thomas who already has his phone out of his pocket presses the play button. The song by Abba "Dancing Queen" comes on. He starts singing with the singer.

" _You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your lifeeeee..."_

Miroslav looks at him speechless. What on earth is he doing? Thomas laughs and pulls his hands and drags him down to a street lamp which acts like a spotlight.  

" _Anybody could be that guy..._ " Thomas winks, Miroslav simply smiles and looks up to the stars. His attention comes back to Thomas when the chorus comes on and he starts dancing in a very funny way. His hips start moving around with no order whatsoever. Miroslav is simply laughing at Thomas. 

"Come on Miro!" He yells as both his hands grab Miro's. 

Eventually his spirit breaks and next thing he knows, he's jumping with him. They're both dancing (if it can be called dancing) around the street lamp laughing together. He even manages to spin around and bust a move or two to impress Thomas, who's smiling has become controllable.  

" _Diggin' the Dancing Queen!"_ Thomas yells from time to time, with the music. Miro hasn't had this much fun in a while, he can't stop smiling.  _  
_

Eventually, the music fades and Thomas falls to the ground, Miro joins him almost immediately. They both can't stop smiling.

" _Having the time of your lifeeeeeeee!_ " Miro sings off tune, which makes them both laugh.

"You're the Dancing King!"

"Thomas..." 

"Hmm?" The pair are laying together on the street as if it was the most normal thing to do.

"I can't get enough of this... of you..., thank you."

"That's nice of you Miro, how about we get closer though, I'm kinda cold here." 

"We just danced how can yo-" Miroslav realises Thomas' intentions. He moves. 

A disturbing thought crosses his mind. "Can I ask you something?" 

"Whatever you want, Miro." Thomas says it in such a seductive way Miro has to take a moment to remember what he was going to ask. When it finally comes back,

"Did we do this before? Like, when we were together before I- I forgot?"

Thomas shifts his head towards him. His crocked smile remains there, which helps Miroslav more than he wants to admit.

"Never, I wasn't even sure you danced."

Miroslav laughs nervously.

"If you can't remember how we fell in love, we get to re-fall in love, can't you see? I meant what I said about creating new memories together, we have a lifetime ahead of us. I'm alright as long as you're with me. It's okay if you don't remember, Miro. I know it's been bothering you. It's okay if you don't remember, I'll probably forget when I'm like 80 years old, so who cares? Let's enjoy the moment."

"I don't get how.. How you manage to calm me so well." His

Thomas smiles. "You always calm me down when I get pissed off too, which is rather often, so take it even."

The memory of the dream haunts Miro, but if he trusts someone, it's Thomas, who's head has turned back to the stars. The moonlight has a nice effect on his skin, Miro dares to think. He's never felt like this before, the man next to him simply brings out everything in him. 

"I think I'm hallucinating."

"I'm real, don't worry." Thomas jokes.

"I've been having this dream, I'm in a match, against Brazil, and you score a goal, from a corner kick. We're with the national team. And then, there's this part, where you have the ball, and you turn to me, you yell something, my name, and you pass me the ball. I shoot and miss but I get a second chance and this time it's in. And I'm the world cup top scorer in history...." 

Thomas looks at him with a shocked look on his face.

"I want it to be a memory, I want it to be a memory, but I have to face that they're not coming back. But I've realised that it's alright if you're by my side..."

He is still speechless.

"Eh, Thomas?"

No response.

"Did I say something?"

"Miro, that's exactly how it happened, didn't you see the video?" 

"No, I just saw the final... I didn't feel like watching stuff I didn't remember."

"What feet did I use to score? Think about it." Thomas sits up, looking down at Miro.

"Your right foot." Miroslav gets up slowly. His heart is beating faster.

"You remember?" Thomas asks.

Miro's eyes are filled with tears, but he's smiling. It's not a dream, it happened. 

"I- I always wake up... I.. I wake up before... well you see, when I score, the first person to hug me is Philipp, and others, and at the end, it's you I want to hug, but when I'm about to get to you, I always wake up... Did we.. hug?" 

"Miro!" He feels Thomas' body around him and he pulls him tight. Thomas' weight pushes him down on his back until they're on the ground again. He feels Thomas' lips on his own and smiles.

"We did hug, I'll show you the video when we get back to the Hotel." His lips return to Miro's. He can't believe the relief in his heart. 

They get lost in the kiss for a moment until they feel some lights on them, they both turn to a car who's coming. They jump off the street and watch the car pass.

Miro cracks up as Thomas gives in and laughs too. 

"Let's go inside." Miro tells him. "You have a match against Australia tomorrow."

"I might tell Jogi I'm too tired..." He smiles, he moves closer to Miro. "Maybe I need to save energy to dance more with you." 

Miro blushes as he pushes him away. What a person Thomas Müller was, and everyday, he kept impressing Miroslav.

However, today he had discovered something more: he had a memory of something important, and Miro doesn't mean becoming top scorer, he means knowing he managed to hug Thomas.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always thank you all for your feedback it means so much <3  
> sdiofgsjd i love dancing thomas


	9. Chasing Cars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miro gets to play again and an unexpected visitor surprises the Pole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i /really/ need to apologize for legit leaving this story, but it's been a hard year for inspiration and i didn't want to write something bad because i've really taken this story into a personal caring thing, so i waited for the perfect time. :D  
> thank you all for reading, if anyone still cares about this story!

It's been a year since the accident, Miroslav's memory hasn't come back but they've figured out most of their daily activities slowly. It's nearly winter break, and Bayern are winter champions again. Thomas grabs his phone, the main screen is filled with the usual text from him. 

_Guess what? I can train again next week! Aren't you excited? I thought I wouldn't play this season at al-!"_

It's not all been in the black, however. For example, he remembered Manu's favourite meal was Nutella. This pleased Philipp and Manuel to no end.

Maybe he could surprise his boyfriend, after all, Bayern wasn't under any pressure. Pep would be focusing on using the youngsters during the last two games. Thomas could easily escape for a couple of days. 

He opens his laptop and clicks on information for flights to Rome. 

* * *

In a warm Italian afternoon, Miro opens his eyes from his nap, jumps out of bed and rushes to the shower. For the first time in months he'll be able to play with Lazio. He knows he'd be happier at Bayern, but he understands that his time now belongs to the Italian runner ups. Rome's not too bad either, he just can't stand that 'Roma' club they're playing against today. Miro has a hunger to win he hasn't been able to satisfy in a long time. 

He's so excited he puts his shoes on, his shirt on his chest, his uniform in his bag and rushes downstairs under the record of 5 minutes. Luan has to remind him to put his shorts on. After a five minute delay with the twins giggling, Miro finds himself finally on his way to the stadium. 

It's a feeling he's definitely missed. 

He walks inside the halls of the huge building away from the fans. He's glad they have an exclusive entry away from the fans. There's only one thing missing.

"What are you doing here so early? Training isn't until one hour." 

He must be dreaming, because he turns around to find that very same person he's been wishing to see: Thomas is standing there in some red Bayern pants and a white polo shirt. He can hardly contain the huge smile on his face. He drops his bag. 

"Thomas?" He rushes and they lips meet for a peck before Thomas pulls away. 

"Surprise!" He whispers and Miro giggles. He grabs his hand and pulls him in the back into a hallway. Miroslav has spend most of his time sneaking around the place, unavailable to play. He has the perfect spot. 

 

"Where are we?" Thomas asks, puzzled.

"Uh- It's where the janitors come and put their things away, but since it's match day, they're all on the pitch. No one's going to interrupt us here."

Thomas sits down against the wall and drags Miro down with him. 

"You better score and dedicate the goal to a certain Müller." He teases.

"I'll try my best." Miro smiles. 

Thomas puts an arm around Miroslav and pulls him closer. Next thing they know, their lips are sealed together again and both of them are enjoying their private moment. 

"You're a great kisser." Miro breathes between kisses, "...for your age." 

The younger stops and pretends to be offended. "I _just_ turned 26 in september." 

Miro laughs and leans his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. 

"Thomas?" 

"What is it?"

He hates his memory, and hates it _even more_  when it ruins a moment like this. He turns to Thomas, who knows him too well to tell it's something of the sort.

"Ask away."

"Could you tell me how we started going out... 'Officially'"

"At that party, when I told Mario to bug off."

"No, I mean, before."

Thomas sighs. "Does it matter?" 

"Please." Miro leans and kisses him giving Thomas a hard time when he has to pull back to reply.

"Officially _.._  After the 2010 World Cup... But.." He chuckles "Let's just say it was really a result of what happened before." 

"Uhh that was the South Africa one?" 

"Yeah.." He blushes. "I used to have a _major_ crush on you, and slowly, you noticed... Well, I gotta say I'm not exactly subtle."

Miro doesn't reply, he simply stares at Thomas. 

"Let me tell you a story. In the tournament, I got a handball which wasn't even fair, Messi touched the ball first. I was upset, because I was going to miss the semi final, and you..."

They're interrupted by Miro's phone ringing. It's Felipe Anderson calling and Miro curses. "Shit. I'm late." 

Thomas nods and he lets Miro get up and rush into the changing room. He'll tell him, after the game.

After all, they've got all the time in the world to catch up with each other. 

 

The sun sets before them, the match is injury free, and even if Miro doesn't score, he's feeling euphoric under the stadium lights and the stars. Lazio wins the derby and everything seems to be going well. After the game, he figures Thomas must be waiting for him. He decides to open his phone to send him a message, but Thomas has already beaten him to it. 

_I'm next to your car, took me hours to find it haha xx_

He parked his car at the back. He smiles, and follows Felipe into the hallway. If he could call anyone a friend here in Italy, it'd be the Brazilian. He always seems to have a story to tell. The boy waves goodbye and Miro's about to turn to the door at the back to find Thomas when he hears his name called out.

"Miroslav!" 

That voice. It's a voice he knows. It's a voice he recognizes. He turns to find the familiar face. It couldn't be...

"Ivan?" 

Ivan Klasnic? Miro raises a hand to his head. He's baffled. How could have he forgotten Ivan? It was before he transferred to Bayern, he's supposed to remember everything until then.

"Oh Hey, hey, Mirek." The Croatian finds his way to avoid a stumbling Miro from falling over, whose head just started to hurt a bit. He has his face filled with concern. When Ivan's grip on him loosens, his mind is already furiously travelling. 

It wanders to his time at Werder Bremen, when they were practically unstoppable, to the time when... 

_K+K Sturm._

_How could have he forgotten?_

Ivan helps Miro find his balance and the Pole apologizes. "You... look old." He jokes. 

But Ivan doesn't smile as Miro remembers, instead, he shakes his head. "I'm sorry being away so long. I figured you wouldn't want to see me.. But.. I was in town, business, and I saw Lazio was playing and I.. I just couldn't stay away."

Miro is too busy feeling guilty over not remembering, he doesn't really listen. He feels ashamed, he should have remembered Ivan sooner. 

"I'm- I'm sorry. My memories aren't at their best.... " 

"You don't remember me?"

"I do, I do, I.. I just kinda hadn't thought about it. It's weird, but now that you're here I remember everythi-" 

Ivan lets out a reassuring smile, and Miro joins him. 

"Everything?" 

There's something about his tone which makes the Pole slightly nervous. He gets a strange feeling he hadn't had in a long time. It's different from the feeling Bastian, Philipp or even Lukas give him. It's the familiarity of Ivan standing before him. 

"What's um- what's new with you?" He dares to ask. It's an awkward question to ask someone you call your friend. 

"Pretty good, I retired about two years ago." 

Why is everyone freaking retired? Miro thinks. "Me too.."

Ivan shakes his head with a smile. "I was watching you Mirek, you still got it."

"I'd be glad if you told me everything I've missed since.. 2007..ish."

"2007? Shit." 

They both laugh, and for a minute, Miro feels like he's young again. He's still at Bremen, playing in his golden years waiting for the 2006 world cup. For just a moment, he didn't lose his memory.

"Say... I'm staying at this hotel in town, maybe we could catch up more on each oth-" he starts. 

"Mirooooooo?"

Ivan freezes at the voice coming from the door. Miro turns around to find the Bavarian walking towards him with a smile, which fades the second he spots his friend. 

"Ivan." He greets, colder than what Miro would have expected.

Miro doesn't quite understand what's going on. Thomas wasn't a serious man, when it came to greeting people. And Ivan, on the other hand, looks like he's seen a ghost. 

"Oh, hey Thomas. It's been a while."

"Yeah,"  

But why? Ivan is a outgoing, loud person, pretty similar to Thomas if he thinks about it. They should get along perfectly fine. Miro would have said something to reduce the tension between them, but Ivan is faster and excuses himself.

Before he goes, he hands him a piece of paper. "Call me anytime you want to catch up. I'll be waiting." He adds, with a small smile. 

There's so many questions in his head, Miro just waves goodbye while more and more memories find a way to flood his head.

 

They get into Miro's car (Thomas having insisted to drive). The Bavarian doesn't really say anything, leaving the only thing distracting Miro being the lights on the streets. It's very unlike Thomas to be this quiet, and it's starting to drive Miro mad. 

Was it because of Ivan?

"What's wrong?" He finally asks, in a far more neutral tone that he would had wanted. 

"What?"

His reply is soft and calm, which surprises Miro. The Bavarian then stops the car a few streets before Miro's house. They're in front of a park, in the dark of the night. 

It's Ivan, Miro anticipates. "It's nothing." Thomas sighs, "It just.. I wasn't expecting to see Ivan. It took me by surprise, that's all." 

"Ivan's just one of my closest friends." Miro defends, "I... didn't remember him, I don't understand why I didn't-" His voice trails off.

Thomas has his head against the seat, his sight firmly set on him. It's that same look Thomas gives him when he's worried. Miro would be lying if he said it didn't make his heart race a little.

"What do you remember?" 

Miro figures there's no point in hiding anything, after all, he does trust Thomas. "I was at Bremen, and Ivan.. He was always there, every goal I scored, every.." He tries to shift his gaze to the lamp post outside. "It's not much, and it's blurry but- he was one of my closest friends."

"Friends?" Thomas repeats, with a hint of surprise in his tone. 

Miro turns back to Thomas. 

"Friends." He repeats slower this time. 

His boyfriend coughs, and he's not sure if it's intentional or not. Either way, Thomas continues. "Miro... Uh, you were a little bit more than just friends." 

"What?"

"Well, friends-who-kiss-and-do-more-stuff-and-aren't-just-friends." Thomas mumbles.

Miro nods. That explains why Ivan and Thomas weren't too happy to see each other, but how? They.. Him and Ivan? He tries to think about the time where Ivan... He had always been so Ivan-like, and he used to think he couldn't possibly be interested in someone like Miro Klose.

He  _had had_ a crush on the man, there's no denying it. It's hard to believe they actually... Had something... and Miro can't remember one damn detail. 

Thomas looks extremely uncomfortable, and Miro feels a bit sick. He even feels a bit of anger creeping on him. He would have thrown a fit, if it weren't for Thomas' hand finding his. 

"It's okay, it's okay." 

"I- I'm-" 

"It's okay." Thomas repeats as he unties his seatbelt. He finds a way across the seats to end up next close to Miro. How the Bavarian manages to fit in such little space next to him is beyond him. Thomas leaves a soft kiss on his forehead and Miro closes his eyes. There's silence for a while, until he's ready to talk again. He needs to know more.

"Do you know uh, when?" 

He can feel Thomas' breath against his skin, and it somehow tranquillizes him. With an apologetic voice, he replies. "Not really, it happened before we met and you didn't.. really like to talk about it, so I never asked."

"Thank you, for telling me." It would have been easy to lie and not tell about it. He raises a hand to his messy hair and plays around with it for a while, Thomas breaks into a grin again, and even closes his eyes. The space between them reduces, and Miro feels the imminent embrace coming.  

He hesitates, however, and Miro knows why. The irony of it all hits him. He's in his car, _in Rome_ , with _a Bayern München star_ inches away, who  _loves him_ , while he himself has just been told about _an entire new relationship..._  which he has no memory of... _again_. And he knows Thomas is complety aware of it.

"I love you Opa... " He tries to smile, hoping those words with magically cure him. 

Miro doesn't know what to reply. Of course, Thomas loves him. He came all the way from Munich to Rome, just to see him play. He's still struck by the fact Miroslav Klose was in a relationship with Ivan Klasnic, he probably shouldn't be giving this so much thought, considering Thomas has been in his life for an entire year now. 

But for Thomas, it hasn't been a year,his mind reasons, and that's exactly it. Thomas is in love with the Miroslav who won trophies at Bayern, with the man who won the world cup and broke the record. He hears Lukas' words in his head. 

_You're still the same man._

He sighs, and smiles back at the boy, who's still waiting for a reply. "Don't you ever feel like it's not fair to you?"

Thomas raises an eyebrow. "What is?"

 _I'm not the same man_ , he wants to say. 

"You're... in love with a ghost. That Miro is gone, and by the looks of it he's not coming back. It's extremely unlucky." 

Thomas looks like he has a million things to reply to try to convince Miro he's wrong, but instead, he rests his head on his shoulder. 

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

"Soulmates?"

"Like... you know... the kind of stories where you get the name of the person in their handwriting on your body somewhere at a certain age and you have to find them." 

Miro gives in into a soft laugh. "I've _never_ heard that kind of story."

"The problem arises when someone knows two people with the same name..." He raises his head to find Miro's eyes. "But they always manage to figure out who's the one." 

"But how do they know?"

"Well, because it's meant to be! It's just a bump in the road," Thomas shrugs. "We all face different kinds of bumps, your accident was a big one... but I know Miro. I know that... um- you're my- uh how do I-"

Miro watches how the younger man struggles to find a not-so-creepy way to call him his soulmate.

His cheeks are turning a bit pink, and Miro can't resist it. He closes the gap and feels the soft pressure of their lips together. 

He'll probably never know what the _Miroslav he can't remember_ did to manage to have someone like Thomas. Not only in his life, but also head over heels for him. For the first time since they got into the car, Miro manages to forget about Ivan, football, and his memory issues, and fully concentrates on Thomas, who will probably have to go back to Munich in a few days, but tonight, he's there with Miro.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ivan....... Gosh i love ivan but i love thomas too im turning into miro


	10. Love's to Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miro has a new-old friend, and doesn't quite know how to deal with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently i love ivan klasnic way more than planned ooopppssss

"So we were together... _together?"_ It's hard to miss the scepticism in Miro's voice.

Ivan Klasnic smiles. "I thought you said you remembered everything, Mirek." 

Miro feels a slight blush. It wasn't a joke. He can hardly blame himself, now that he's had time to process it. He remembers how much he looked up to the Croatian, the way he moved around the pitch, the way he managed to always find the right thing to say at the right time. If Miro hadn't known better, he'd dare to say he had a crush on the man. 

But Miroslav was married, happily married, and had a set of beautiful baby twins. Nothing _could_ have happened. 

"You look concerned, don't worry, it wasn't all that bad." A familiar chuckle follows.

Then again, things  _had_ happened with a 20 year old... against all odds. 

"Mirek."

 _One hell of a 20 year old,_ he reminds himself.

"Miroslav?" Ivan brings him back from his thoughts. 

"Oh, sorry" He babbles. "What was it?"

He smiles again, and Miro almost manages ignore how much he used to enjoy staring at that smile. 

"I was asking what else you had forgotten." 

"Oh," He frowns, as if thinking about it would help. Where to start? "I.. I forgot two entire world cups, one of which I won.. and then, I'm retired from International Duty too, and..." 

The Croatian takes a bite of his sandwich waiting for Miro to continue. 

"...Thomas."

It hurts to admit it, even if he knows it's not his fault. Ivan does look surprised, though.

"You forgot _Thomas_..? Well, wasn't expecting that." 

Miro shrugs. 

"I.. Um, I guess you probably don't remember about my medical problems."

"What?"

"I suffered kidney failure, tried getting a transplant from majka, but my body rejected it, so we tried again, with otac."

Miro has round eyes, and Ivan gives him a sorry look. How could have he forgotten something as important as this? "Hey, I'm fine now. I was even able to continue playing football." He sighs in relief, and Ivan moves a bit closer.

"I have missed you, terribly, you know.."

There's something about Ivan's tone which sends a shiver down Miro's spine. He shakes his head softly "I'm still here." 

"Yeah, you are." 

Is he... flirting? But Ivan  _knows_ about Thomas, he couldn't possibly be insinuating something like that. No, it's probably Miroslav being paranoid. And to be fair, Miro is glad he's found another friend he remembers.

 

* * *

 

_Please leave a message after the tone. When you are finished you may hang up or press 1 for special options..._

Thomas presses the red hang up button for what seems to be the billionth time in the past hours, and days. It had started when Jogi had told him he was going to be captain for the Germany - Italy match next march. 

Except Miro hasn't even replied any of his phone calls. He's even starting to get a bit worried.  _Okay_ maybe he's busy. He thinks.

He presses his finger against Miro's name and tries again. It rings again, and again, and again. He's ready to give up when someone picks up.

"Hello?" It's a child's voice coming from the other end. 

"Noah!" Thomas cheerily greets. He's always had an ability to tell the twins apart from one another. He's quite proud of that skill. "It's Thomas."

"Thomas!" The boy can't his his excitement. "Luan! It's Thomas on the phone!"

It can't help but bring a smile on the Bavarian's face.

"When are you coming over to teach us more _Weltmeister_ tricks?" Noah asks. 

"As soon as you're both able to handle it!"

"Awww come on!"

Thomas laughs and shakes his head, even if they can't see it. "Well... the national team is going to be playing in München against Italy next march, how about you two and your dad give us a visit?"

He hears Luan's voice. "Is he serious?!" 

"I think he is!" Noah tries to whisper, but is quickly interrupted. "Dad! Hey! It's Thomas! He says we can go to München... What? No, he's on your pho- here."

Thomas' heart is beating unusually fast as he can imagine Noah handing the phone to his father.

"Hello?"

"Miro!" He squeals too quickly and loud. 

"Oh, Thomas!" There's happiness in the elder's voice, and Thomas feels his nerves calm down a bit. He's smiling like a moron. He's missed his polish-born striker's voice. "I'm sorry I couldn't reply to you earlier, I was getting ready and I couldn't find my phone.." He admits. 

Thomas smiles even more at the adorable image of Miroslav desperately looking for his phone. 

"What's up?"

"Jogi said I could be captain of die Mannschaft... well, not always, that's Basti, but just for the match against Italy!" 

"That's amazin- uh- " His voice trails off, but Thomas freezes at Miro's muffled words. "Yeah- Yeah Ivan- I'll be outside in a mome-  yes I know the movie starts in half an- it's Thomas- no, no, I'm not-"

"Thomas?" It takes a moment for him to snap back to his name. He makes a sound acknowledging he's still on the line. "I'm sorry you caught me in a tight schedule here, I'll call you back later okay?" 

"Oh... sure." Thomas agrees, and before he can properly say goodbye, Miro has already hung up the phone. He slides gently into a seat behind him and blankly stares at the phone. Truth is: he doesn't know what to think. 

Miro doesn't call him back. 

* * *

 

"Hey Thomas, slow down." 

"You know? It's really shitty you left us for Manchester." 

Bastian gives him a weak smile, noticing his friend has had a fair amount of alcoholic beverages. "You know I've always wondered how it would be like.." 

He sighs. It's hard only being able to talk to Bastian when international breaks come. 

"Bayern misses you. I miss you." He manages to say. 

"We've talked about this, I'll be back, don't worry. This is my home, after all." 

The two boys sit down on the doorstep of Manu's house. It's cold, but none of them care. The goalkeeper had thrown a late Christmas party. Thomas lifts up his beer and takes a good look at it.

"What's up?" The blond asks. 

"I miss Miro." 

"Huh, weren't things were great between you two?"

"Hm." Thomas ponders for a minute, are things great between them? "They... I just.." He knows he's being selfish, but he has to say it. "I miss it when... he remembered me, when he loved me." 

"He _does_ love you."

"No, he _doesn't._ _He likes me_. He likes to _kiss me_ , he likes _my company_." He drowsingly adds. "He likes to..." 

"I don't need the sexual details." Bastian quickly interrupts, fearing the worst. 

The younger man laughs and shakes his head. "That hasn't happened since before the acciden-"

"Thomas," Bastian cuts him serious, though experience has taught him arguing with a tipsy Thomas isn't the best idea. "He just doesn't remember, but he does love you." 

"Yeah, I used to think that crap, but now I'm not so sure."

Basti raises an eyebrow. Probably talking about his love situation while having had too much to drink isn't the best idea, but when Thomas sees he's not following, he continues. 

"He ran into Klasnic last time I was at Rome... And preeeeetty sure they've been seeing each other ever since." 

He has to take another sip as he says those words. 

"Klasnic.... Ivan Klasnic?"

"How many Klasnics do you know?"

"Does he remember?"

"Surprisingly, he didn't...  well partially, I had to tell him about their _relationship_. What was I thinking?" _Miro has a gift to forget every relationship he's been in,_ he thinks, then immediately regrets having the thought. 

"You told him everything?"

"Not.. everything." How could he? It wasn't his place to tell, as much as he might have wanted it. He would spare Miro the heartbreak if he could. Even if that meant Miro hanging out with his so-not-over-him ex. "Thing is, Miro used to be in love with this guy. Like the real kind of love. I think Ivan was his first love or something." 

"Thomas, he's with you." Bastian tries again. "You're just being paranoid. This isn't the same Miro who woke up clueless about you a year ago." 

"I just.. I love him.. I love him so much, so much.." He repeats, as he closes his eyes. Bastian wraps an arm around him. "I'm scared of losing him again." 

Lukas walks out on them.  "What's up?" He mouths, and after the pair carrying him on Manu's couch, Bastian explains everything. 

 

"Ivan? Really? I thought him and Miro hadn't talked in ages." He's baffled, just like Bastian.

"They hadn't. Took the guy a year to go check out on him."

The pair watch how Manuel puts on a song and gets on his table to dance, it's hard not to laugh at the scene.

"I love the holidays." Lukas admits, with a smile. 

Bastian raises his glass and nods. "Here's to another year together." and finds Lukas' lips. 

 

* * *

 

"You have to come Müller, it's gonna be awesome." 

"Not in the mood."

Manuel pouts. It's not like Thomas missing Fips' barbecues. Thomas takes a good look at the net and focuses on his shot, but when he starts sprinting, Manu takes away the ball, making Thomas stumble and fall. He grumbles.

"Alright, what's up."

"What?" 

The goalkeeper offers him a hand.

"You've been in a shit  mood for a while now, is it Miro?"

Thomas shakes his head, he's not really in the mood to talk about it. Manuel isn't buying it though, and he knows he can't hide anything from his best friend. He guesses he has to tell someone anyway at some point.

"Miro... I ... He's been hanging out with his ex-boyfriend."

"Who? Mario?"

"What? No, that's my.. well not even ex- no, Ivan Klasnic. They used to play together for Werder."

The tall man shrugs. "Never heard of the guy."

The comment can't help but make Thomas giggle. "You're really oblivious to most things aren't you?"

"Well, what about this Ivan guy?" 

"Miro's been more distant, he always..." Thomas could make a list of things Miro isn't doing anymore, or does less often, like the texts he barely replies. "He seems too busy for me."

"I doubt Miro would be the type of guy to just ditch you, after everything you've done for him. He's still rightful Klose by the book. And.. He wouldn't cheat on you, if that's what bothers you."

He'd be lying if the thought of Ivan throwing himself at Miro hadn't crossed his mind. He pushes that image away. 

"For all I know he's free to ask me to step aside and live his fantasy first love with Ivan. He doesn't remember what happened at the end. Even I don't know that story well because Miro always used to say it _wasn't important because he was with me now._ I just know Miro got hurt, and..."

"Hurt?"

"Yeah, the heartbroken hurt type." 

Manu ponders for a moment. 

"Fips invited him to the barbecue. You can't just leave Miro alone with die Mannschaft younglings, can you?" 

Thomas raises an eyebrow, because in the bottom of his heart, Manu is right. 

 

* * *

 

"I'm surprised you didn't stain your shirt of Nutella." 

Manuel's about to reply but stops dead, and his mouth drops. He's glaring at something behind him. Thomas wants to turn around to see when someone yells "Hey! It's Miro!". The goalkeeper stops him.

"He's with Klasnic."

_What?_

Thomas brushes his hands off and turns to find Miroslav greeting Lukas with no other than  _Ivan_ behind him. "What the fu-"

He's paralysed, and no one else exists in Philipp's backyard, except maybe Manuel who manages to pull him away.

 

They walk down a path, filled with trees and Manuel tries to calm him down. A million thoughts are going through his mind, how did Miro ever think this would be fine? Were they still together? Maybe Miro had forgotten to break up with Thomas, it would explain a few things. 

"Thomas." 

Manuel grabs his arm. 

"What's  _he_ doing here? This is a German National Team reunion with _no_ _Croatians allowed_."

He's asking out of desperation, because he knows Manu can't possibly have that answer. The sun is setting between them and the goalkeeper wraps his arms around him to calm him down. After Thomas' breath has returned to normal rate, Manuel starts. 

"Miroslav Klose is _your_  boyfriend, not Ivan's. He's in a relationship with _you_ , Thomas, not Ivan. Now go and kiss him hello." 

The Bavarian nods, and smiles weakly. Maybe Manu is right, he might just be overreacting. By no way the fact Ivan is here should affect him and Miro in any way possible. When the Pole sees Thomas, they'll be happy like they've been for as long as he can remember. 

 

But it's the exact opposite that happens. When Miro sees Thomas he doesn't kiss him. He gently ruffles his hair and even if Thomas loves it when he does that, he can't ignore the stab in his heart he feels when he drops his hand to place it on Ivan's shoulder. At least his smile is genuine for a fraction of a second, before Ivan does something that makes Miro smile or laugh. 

He's not jealous, he tells himself. He just really can't stand Ivan.

The last straw is when Thomas brings Miro a drink, but he comes back and the two of them are gone. Philipp mumbles an 'outside' with his lips and Thomas catches a glance of Ivan dragging Miro down and pointing at the sky. 

"Mirek! Look at the constellations tonight!"

Thomas wants to step outside and join them, but the fact that Ivan wraps an arm around Miro stops him. He's waiting for Miro to push him away, but he doesn't. Why isn't he pushing him away? 

He wishes he had interrupted them, because now Ivan seems to lean each time closer to his boyfriend. He turns back inside the house before he can see Miro pushing him softly away and shaking his head. Ivan gives him an apologetic shrug, and Miro turns waiting for Thomas to join them.  

 

His first stop is the table with all the drinks. He serves himself in a plastic glass a mix of anything he can put his hands on. All his mind is wrapped around the guy who he loves so much and got here with his ex-in-his-head-current-boyfriend. He shakes his head. Ivan isn't Miro's boyfriend. Thomas is. Thomas loves Miroslav and Miroslav lov-.

He shakes his head again, because he has to admit the fact that Miroslav does not love Thomas. He drinks a full on blow of his drink and tries to calm himself down. Why didn't he pull away? 

Is he supposed to be mad?

He could never really be mad at Miro. His Miro Klose. Thomas thinks about the time where Miro left Bayern, he was heartbroken, and blamed him for it. It was ironically around the time he had realised he was completely in love with the Pole. Of course, that had worked out perfectly, because it turned out Miro had completely fallen for him too. His words echo in his head and it was like he had known that moment he'd never let him go. _No matter what happens_.

But things had happened, hadn't they? He had been in an accident and Thomas lingers over the thought that Miro could have died, but he didn't. Only his love died, and the promises of finding each other again were slowly crumbling around him. He takes another shot of Tequila, it's funny how it doesn't even take long that much alcohol before he's gone. He can't shake the blue in Miro's eyes on him.

He misses him so much. 

"Hey there big guy." A hand lands on his shoulder, and he's begging it to be the pole, only to find Mario Gomez. Again. 

"Not right now," He mumbles. It's the worst possible timing, and Thomas literally has no patience today. He opens another bottle to serve himself, with Mario watching carefully. 

"Are you alright?" 

Thomas' attention is distracted by Miro, who happens to have walked back in to the living room's couch... with Ivan following him. He's smiling his honest grin, and Thomas knows he shouldn't feel like this, but it's all too much: he grabs the nearly two opened bottles of vodka, turns to Mario and drags him upstairs. 

He shuts the door behind them, and sits on the bed. Mario on the other hand, repeats the question. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." Thomas lies, and it's the most obvious lie he's probably ever said. Mario doesn't continue asking questions though. He hands him one of the bottles, as if it was some kind of magical elixir, and takes a zip from his own. 

He doesn't know how long it's been, but it's been long enough for him to finish the bottle. They're surrounded by silence, until Thomas notices Mario is taking a few steps forward. He knows what Mario has wanted for years, and what he could give him in matter of seconds. 

The Fiorentina player places a hand on his cheek. His touch is warm, Thomas focuses out of all things he could possibly notice. Though, it's probably the booze. It hurts. Thomas closes his eyes and he's thinking of someone else entirely. Miro's blue eyes are still on him, and he wants to reach out to him, except he can't. He opens them when Mario starts leaning down, the Bavarian has enough awareness to shake his head. 

"No, no, sorry."

What a terrible mistake he's done, dragging Mario here out of anger and jealousy. "I..  I'm sorry Gonzo." He stumbles his way out of the bed, and opens the door, only to find Manu with a confused expression. 

He manages to see Mario on the bed and makes a face.

"Thomas? What on ear-" 

"Bathroom. Now." 

 

Manu almost snorts. "You almost kissed... no, slept with Gomez?" 

"Shhhhh.." He needs to lower his voice to avoid the screaming. He doesn't want the entire house to find out about that. 

"You sure nothing happened?"

Thomas' raised eyebrow is enough for the goalkeeper. "Well you were in that room for like 3 hours... Usually bedrooms are for that. I was looking for Mats and Benni." 

He glances at the mirror hoping somehow it'll erase that image soon. It takes him a while to notice his friend isn't _half_  as drunk as he is. This, out of all things, annoys Thomas to no end. "How come _you're so sober?_ "

He shrugs with a smirk. "Not in the mood."

"Since  _when_ is Manuel Neuer not in the mood?" Thomas mocks,

Manuel would have made a witty reply, if it weren't for someone knocking on the door. "Is someone in there?"

"No." Thomas replies, earning a shake from Manuel. The state of drunkenness his friend has is alarming. Thomas, however, opens the door to find no other than Ivan standing in front of him, looking surprisingly (and disgustingly) sober.

_Klasnic 1-0 Müller_

Even if Manuel would have liked to have prevented it, there was nothing that could have stopped Thomas from telling Ivan a piece of his mind.

"What are you doing with Miro?"

"Jealous are we?" The Croatian defends. "Miro needs someone who knows the old him, the old Miro. You only met him when he was older... It's what Miro needs."

Thomas is taken aback by his words.

"Have you told him about how you two ended?" Manuel cuts, seeing his friend has a hard time thinking of arguments when he's drunk.

Ivan looks away, and shakes his head. "As much as you may want it, Thomas. He doesn't need you. He needs someone who can look at him and not see something that's gone."

Manuel is speechless by his following set of words. "You're in love with a ghost."

It's as if those words had stabbed him, partially because Thomas had been so scared he'd end up losing Miro because of that. An unprecedented set of anger? Rage? Desperation? takes hold of him, and he manages to take a step closer with an obvious intention of hitting the guy in the face. Ivan is strong, muscled, and Thomas admits it may not be the best idea considering he doesn't really stand a chance, but before it gets to that, he feels Manuel's arms stop him. It ends with an awkward pull which doesn't even make Ivan tremble. 

He gives Thomas a confused look, and continues to the bathroom, shaking his head. 

"I wanna go home." Thomas mumbles, his throat heavy.  _Klasnic 2-0 Müller_

 

He's managed to get his coat on, when he doesn't feel Manu around him anymore. Probably gone with Fips or something. Whatever. Thomas shrugs, after all, Manu is driving him to his place, being the sober one. His head can't stop thinking about Ivan's words. 

He takes a couple of steps outside when hears someone calling him out. Except it's not Manuel, when Thomas turns around, he finds no other that Miro with an apogeletic smile on his face.

"I've barely seen you tonight."

_Whose fault is that?_

There's a silence between them when Thomas doesn't answer. And he finds himself fighting the urge to crawl into Miro's arms again, the way it was before. When it was just the two of them scoring goals together. He wants the Miro he loves back. 

"It's because I brought Ivan." Miro adds, defeated, when he doesn't even smile back. "Thomas, it's not like that. We're not-"

"Making out?" The Bavarian sighs. It's the alcohol talking to this point, but Thomas can't find himself to care anymore.  

"What?" Miro is taken aback. What else had he been expecting? 

Ivan's words echo in his head. Maybe Miro does need to have Ivan instead of Thomas in his life. Maybe Miro does deserve someone who fully understands what the old him was like. He gives out an exaggerated sigh before he kicks the grass. 

"I can't do this anymore Miro." 

The Pole watches him carefully, "What?" He looks honestly surprised, and Thomas wonders how he could be oblivious to the whole affair. 

"You- you deserve bet-" 

He can feel the tears forming behind his eyes and his voice shaking, but he has to be strong. He has to be selfless with him. "I.. I'm sorry." He mumbles, and starts walking away. But Miro isn't about to give up that easily on him. 

This is Thomas, the boy who's poured his heart over time for Miroslav. He grabs his arm, and Thomas lets a tear drop. 

"Miro please.."

"Thomas. It's not like... that. Please." 

"I'm in love with -- a ghost, I-" He can't even bare to look at the Pole. So instead he waits for the grip on his arm to relax, so he can get away. His tone as cold as Miro's icy blue eyes. Those damn eyes that are set on him. 

Miro doesn't say a word, loosening his grip on him and surprisingly Thomas regrets his last set of words. 

"A duch.." He repeats in what Thomas guesses is Polish. 

"Thomas!" 

They're interrupted by Mario Gomez, and Thomas suddenly wants to hide away from the shame of what happened earlier. Miro, on the other hand, looks devastated, there's an unsettling empty expression on his face. It's upsetting because Thomas tries to remember seeing him like this, but he can't. Not even when he woke up and had no idea of where he was in that hospital in Rome. Not when they lost the Euro in 2012 or the world cup in 2010. This is a first for the both of them, considering Thomas has never felt like this either. 

"Manu's looking for you." He adds, awkwardly standing behind Miro. He doesn't look angry or upset, and Thomas is thankful. "He's at the door, waiting for you."

The Bavarian shifts his gaze from Miro, when Mario smiles and laughs a bit. "You went out through the back door.. God Mülli, I've forgotten the mess you become when you drink too much."

Thomas shakes his head, pretending it's not true. He takes a few steps pass Miro and wants to apologize again. But before he can think of something, Mario is already pulling him back to the house. He turns back to Miro one last time when they're up the stairs, who isn't even looking at him. He's staring at the sky, one hand in his hair and the other on his hip. 

It's funny, he thinks as Manuel turns on the car, how much a person can change your life. He wonders how after everything they've been through, Thomas is still madly in love with him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> language notes:  
> *croatian:  
> Majka = Mother  
> Otac = Father

**Author's Note:**

> I've been crazy with university but each small moment I've had I've written a little sentence and this is what came out of it
> 
> it's for Lu because she's so nice <33


End file.
